Yes we do have nasty neighbours, so nasty that they throw pests and insects into our backyard, over the wall, our Line-of -control (LoC). But what do we do with these nasty neighbours? They just wont listen. We dont know, our government and leaders are no better. So who do we complain to. Well, I dont know. But there are some people who would have a good idea how to deal with them. With the ideas in our current leaders, i think it wont look out-of-reality if we try any of the ideas suggested by those few who have such out-of -the box solutions. Here's a look at a few:
1. The Luca Brasi way - In this age of technology, globalisation and blah blah.. everyone expects everything to be formal i.e to wear suits when meeting even your worst enemy ( even if it involves getting a bullet pierce that coat making it all red-stained), and most importantly verbal assurances are invalid. People want signatures to be sure its all settled ( though they may believe it is Gilani who has finally accepted, even if it is Krusty the Clown who signs). Luca Brasi (the classical hitman from 'The Godfather') fits the bill - coat, bullets and.... he can get the signature (or brains) on the paper. After all Luca is an expert at providing ' offers you can't refuse'. Surely this will work right....??
2. The Captain VijayKanth way: The macho-istic Kollywood hero, the James Bond of Tamil Nadu has starred in a couple of patriotic sentiment movies like Narasimma. Just imagine Captain rather than a Mr. Krishna or anyone else meeting Qureshi . One, Vijaykanth is a master at hyptonomy, even without a pendulum. One can think of no other reason why there are scenes of intense focus on his eyes many a movie. Surely a person who can hyptonize a cameraman (who looks only through camera lenses), can hyptonize one who looks at him directly. It thus becomes clear what Captain would do. After hypnotizing Qureshi or Gilani or whoever, he will start speaking his famous dialogues, which are unbearable if not in the hypnotized state, and make them obey his words. Two, Even if someone breaks out of his gaze and fires at captain we all know who the bullet will actually strike.
3. The Severus Snape way: Holding the record for the most inaudible voice, you will wonder how on earth he would be of any use. Snape will speak so low and coldly throughout the meeting, that to understand it would be a herculean task. In order to decipher the audio, Pakistan'll divert all its resources and US funding and manpower including terrorists to build a super powerful power plant to provide high enough voltage to operate a new amplifier that can amplify Snape's voice to above 20 dB. The Snape strategy doesn't require any signatures on paper, it achieves desired results in a unique way. For one, the Chinese aided and built Nuclear reactor will spend its lifetime on a mundane purpose. Two, there wont be enough funds left for ISI and co to use for its rogue activities since all money in the country is concentrated on that project. So ISI will get angry and start hampering US interests in Pakistan, after which US'll get worried about its Afghanistan plan and start bombing all ISI bred terror outlets thus cleaning up India's border. Lastly, Snape is the master of Defence against the 'Dark Arts'. So who better??
4. The Bachchus way: I till a few seconds ago didn't know who Bachchus is/was. I searched for the Greek God who gave king Midas his wish. This was the result. If India do somehow ask permission from Greece to borrow their god for one day, this is an effective and fitting strategy. When Bachchus goes for an Indo-Pak meeting he can grant them the wish that whatever the anti-India elements in Pakistan touch, should explode. Of course, Bachchus should refrain from shaking hands at the end. Terrorists will be double-crossed at this. If they pick up their guns it'll explode in their face. They can't come and touch everyone to kill them, as they will likely be killed by the bullets from Border Security. Only thing is that BSF in such cases would benefit more by shooting the palm to cause collateral damage.
5. The Christopher Nolan way: Simple. Incept the minds of the target. But the deeper one keeps going i.e deeper levels of dream, there is a danger that our already old officials could grow older and die, and thus go into limbo. But same applies on the other side too. Better to send one of the Nolan characters to do the inception than our fellows. Dr. Crane from Batman Begins without a doubt. He will spray halucinogen on Qureshi or whoever and then put on his Scarecrow mask and terrorise him. Inception done by fear rather than an emotional incident, a reverse catharsis. When out of the dream, there will be a loud scream and the nasty neighbours will be nasty no more.
1. The Luca Brasi way - In this age of technology, globalisation and blah blah.. everyone expects everything to be formal i.e to wear suits when meeting even your worst enemy ( even if it involves getting a bullet pierce that coat making it all red-stained), and most importantly verbal assurances are invalid. People want signatures to be sure its all settled ( though they may believe it is Gilani who has finally accepted, even if it is Krusty the Clown who signs). Luca Brasi (the classical hitman from 'The Godfather') fits the bill - coat, bullets and.... he can get the signature (or brains) on the paper. After all Luca is an expert at providing ' offers you can't refuse'. Surely this will work right....??
2. The Captain VijayKanth way: The macho-istic Kollywood hero, the James Bond of Tamil Nadu has starred in a couple of patriotic sentiment movies like Narasimma. Just imagine Captain rather than a Mr. Krishna or anyone else meeting Qureshi . One, Vijaykanth is a master at hyptonomy, even without a pendulum. One can think of no other reason why there are scenes of intense focus on his eyes many a movie. Surely a person who can hyptonize a cameraman (who looks only through camera lenses), can hyptonize one who looks at him directly. It thus becomes clear what Captain would do. After hypnotizing Qureshi or Gilani or whoever, he will start speaking his famous dialogues, which are unbearable if not in the hypnotized state, and make them obey his words. Two, Even if someone breaks out of his gaze and fires at captain we all know who the bullet will actually strike.
3. The Severus Snape way: Holding the record for the most inaudible voice, you will wonder how on earth he would be of any use. Snape will speak so low and coldly throughout the meeting, that to understand it would be a herculean task. In order to decipher the audio, Pakistan'll divert all its resources and US funding and manpower including terrorists to build a super powerful power plant to provide high enough voltage to operate a new amplifier that can amplify Snape's voice to above 20 dB. The Snape strategy doesn't require any signatures on paper, it achieves desired results in a unique way. For one, the Chinese aided and built Nuclear reactor will spend its lifetime on a mundane purpose. Two, there wont be enough funds left for ISI and co to use for its rogue activities since all money in the country is concentrated on that project. So ISI will get angry and start hampering US interests in Pakistan, after which US'll get worried about its Afghanistan plan and start bombing all ISI bred terror outlets thus cleaning up India's border. Lastly, Snape is the master of Defence against the 'Dark Arts'. So who better??
4. The Bachchus way: I till a few seconds ago didn't know who Bachchus is/was. I searched for the Greek God who gave king Midas his wish. This was the result. If India do somehow ask permission from Greece to borrow their god for one day, this is an effective and fitting strategy. When Bachchus goes for an Indo-Pak meeting he can grant them the wish that whatever the anti-India elements in Pakistan touch, should explode. Of course, Bachchus should refrain from shaking hands at the end. Terrorists will be double-crossed at this. If they pick up their guns it'll explode in their face. They can't come and touch everyone to kill them, as they will likely be killed by the bullets from Border Security. Only thing is that BSF in such cases would benefit more by shooting the palm to cause collateral damage.
5. The Christopher Nolan way: Simple. Incept the minds of the target. But the deeper one keeps going i.e deeper levels of dream, there is a danger that our already old officials could grow older and die, and thus go into limbo. But same applies on the other side too. Better to send one of the Nolan characters to do the inception than our fellows. Dr. Crane from Batman Begins without a doubt. He will spray halucinogen on Qureshi or whoever and then put on his Scarecrow mask and terrorise him. Inception done by fear rather than an emotional incident, a reverse catharsis. When out of the dream, there will be a loud scream and the nasty neighbours will be nasty no more.
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