Flopenhagen

It seems that US , the pioneer of the climate change campaign found itself completely at a loss on the last day and stitched up a half baked draft with leaders of India, China and South Africa to save its face. Here learn what transpired in those late hours.

US: (yawn!) ok look everyone.... its getting late, im tired. So please lets get this done with...

India's Representative: Yes. Sure! Why we could wrap it up right away.... You see, we have this small three page draft. All u have to do is say you like it and we'll be on our way home...

US: What if i dont like it?

China's Rep: Oh but you will like it....

US: (puzzled) how're you so sure about that?

CH: Cos if you dont like it, its gonna get even late...

US: Ah crap.... I can't believe you're making me submit to blackmail.

IND: Blackmail? Oh no no no... we're not gonna do anything to you if you dont accept. We will sit and talk, and we can talk, and still talk....

US: Look. You dont understand. I can't stay any longer. I gotta get back to DC. I have too many things to worry about.....(pauses).... And i can't accept that draft. I'll be belched by others if i do..

SA's Rep: We'll talk, i'll go get some coffee so we don't sleep.

US: NO NO NO.... I CAN'T STAY, NO TIME!!!

IND: No time? thats a very bad reason.... Look at me... my high command has ordered everyone to stay away from five star hotels, luxury cars and first class flights....

US: High Command? You people have someone other than the PM and President?

IND: Errrrr.... no... but thats not the point. So im staying in a barn 30 kms from here sleeping on a stack of hay. And to get here the farmer gives me a ride in his wagon when he comes to the market and i hitch a ride from there.... So if your excuse is time, i have plenty to give. But im not.

US: Well what can i tell everyone if they ask me why i accepted this?

CH: I thought you were smart. But u can't think of the simplest reason. Isn't money still money whatever you give money for?

US: Please i dont want puzzles, now....

CH: Yes. Didn't you give 10 billion to Pakistan to fight terror. So you say you give money to Pakistan to fight climate.... you know.... since thats the only country you people agree to send aid..

US: How does that help you Mr.China?

CH: Oh we have no problem taking our money from them....

IND: Hold on you prick! what the hell are we supposed to do? We can't take it from them.

SA: Yeah.....

IND: Look ... I have an idea... Listen carefully...

US: Go on....

IND: What was your chief motto on which you ran your election?

US: uh... alot... Healthcare, Jobs, Afghanistan, Pa...

IND: No. Hold. I mean your catchphrase. You remember?

US: 'We need change'?

IND: Exactly.

US: So?

IND: (menacingly) Ok. Why're you here?

US: Why am i here???

IND: At Copenhagen?

US: To discuss climate change

IND: What about climate change?

US: Ways to prevent it....

IND: There you go...

US: You're nuts.... I dont understand....

IND: IM nuts if YOU dont understand?

US: (blank)

IND: Since you promised your people change, and if you prevent it. Isn't that going against your promise?

US: Bah.....

IND: Climate Change... It's a change too. So you tell everyone you didn't force anything legally binding on us so that you ensure the people of the world CHANGE!!! And you tell them you're keeping your election promise......

US faints and falls down

CH: Oh Jesus , i think you killed him.

SA: What do we do now?

IND: He's breathing. We'll wait for him to get up, you still have that card deck eh?

SA: Sure do...

They play Poker for half hour and US regains consciousness.

US: (holding his hurting head) ew... couldn't you guys wait for me?

IND: You look terrible, finish your coffee on the table, and you can sign the draft.

US: (looks at the coffee): Its cold....

CH: So were you too.... Out COLD for half hour...

(All three laugh)

US: OK i give up, give me the pen, where do i sign?

IND: Addaboy.... there you go!! (pats him)

US: OUCH....!!!

IND: Sorry...!!!

US: You know my popularity's been falling and i hope this doesn't kill it any further...

IND: It wont, and so what if it does? Your fortunately not in coalition unlike us. You have three more years in you....... unless something strange happens

CH: Like if he dies.....

US: (looks at CH disgustingly)

IND: Shut up. He's not gonna die in office.

US: Well, thats it. Im done. Relief atlast. Goodbye...

IND: Poker?? We'll start a new game....

US: (after deep thought) Well, alright...

They keep playing when unexpectedly England and Italy Reps enter.

UK: What the hell're you guys doing? Where's the draft?

US: It's done.

UK: Ya but where is it?

US: (looks at the table where Italy Rep is scribbling on it)

UK: Hey....!! (looks at it) Aaah.... what the f***, ur doodling underwears again?

IT: Soffy..

CH: Soffy?

IT: fomeone funched my nofe with a vetal thattuette.... fo i found like that.

UK: We can't accept this.... Look at this (shows to IT)

IT: why u fowing it to me? Ib the one who vrew it...

UK: Not the doodles, THE TEXT!!

US: Ok tell u what... forget about that, join us for poker. we'll look at that later.

UK: Are you crazy or something? The planets future depends on this....

IND: What do you think (looks at ITA)

ITA: (at UK): i think we have time to flay.... Ib joining theb....

UK hesitates for some minutes and then

UK: Oh what the heck, deal the cards for me too....

US: Ok this should be fun, i'll go get some beer...

UK: yeah....

IND: What say we do this next year too??

UK: Im in....

SA: Me too...

CH: Sure....

ITA: with fleasure...

IND: (shouts across the hall) How about you uncle sam, you wanna do this next year??

US: (shouts back) IM ALREADY THERE....!!!

And they lived happily ever after...

The curious case of 50 Over Cricket

Yes a case has been made out. I didn't want it. I've enjoyed and drunk the elixir of good 50-over cricket through my boyhood. But now the devils want to spoil the broth akin to the shunning of ailing lepers. Only that 50- over cricket isn't affected with leprosy. The system is. A change devoid of necessity is a change for the worse. The discussion for change makes a good example for the proverb of too many cooks spoiling a meal. Or worse. Too many differing opinions in the operation theatre leads to disaster for the unfortunate. Tinkering is needed, i concur, but not in the game's style or pattern. But in the administration. Let me make it clear.

The first and the most obscene remedy i've heard so far is shortening to 40 overs an innings similar to the Pro40s played in England. This is neither going to pace up the game nor make it more competitive. A common man wont see any big advantage coming out of 20 lesser overs a match i.e roughly a 6 hour match instead over 7 hours. It will still have the middle overs where the ball wont get smacked every other over. And even for those not minding about the ball getting the leather damaged, and being satisfied with a competitive match, a 40 over version cannot be won by just pure slambang and decided on a spark of the moment. Consequently, superior quality of skills will be necessary again, and weaker teams will continue to struggle. Surprise seekers wont be treated with upsets and the same problems the 50 over format faces will resurface.

The second sacrilege being suggested is two innings a side of 25 overs each. This too is bound to fail. It is to be suggested that a paracetamol tablet can't cure everything. Similarly T20s ( or T25s, whatever!) is not the solution to everything. T20 cricket can be restricted for league tournaments like IPL etc, which is impossible to conduct on a 50 over scale, given the heavy international fixtures, which really are the souls of Cricket. A 25 overs test ( ok, let me not call it as test) will just give us two episodes of a T20. A team with a huge first inning total that has the team batting second in tatters, will have it easier than a one with the same situation in a 5 day test. The reason being that the team which batted second and collapsed will have to get a disproportionately higher score within limited overs to overcome the first inning deficit and set a respectable target.

The third suggestion doing the rounds is to relegate the bottom most teams among themselves and the associate members. I highly suspect that. When a permanent member plays an associate member, the associate will struggle to match standards. Why even Kenya struggled and lost 4-1 in a series to Zimbabwe recently, just to imagine the plight of associate members.Thus this sounds a very lame idea.

Considering all the above, its probably the safest bet not to change anything. Where change is needed is in the office. Everyone remembers the best days of 50 over Cricket as the period when teams matched more or less to one another, when each team has its unique USP and when each country's grounds had their own USP. From the swing battery of Pakistan, to the assembly of all-rounders in New Zealand, to the speed guns in the Carribean. And from the bounce floors of Australia, to the turning tops, green tops and seaming pitches that provided different testing conditions and varieties to the viewers. Repeated batting strips will provide viewers the same plot time and again. It is thus, vital that diversity is restored in cricket to bring back the same flavor that existed in the past and the same excitement that existed.

Also it would be of utmost importance for the ICC to take the necessary steps to spend some thought and money to make teams like West Indies and Zimbabwe stronger, and good enough to give a good match. It is the ICC that needs to do the necessary. Not Allan Stanford, not Lalit Modi. In this light, the Champions Trophy came at the right time. No, im not saying this because the Aussies won. I say so because it provided the highest quality competition seen in some while, was properly organized, and was devoid of dead rubbers, which could've been even better had a regular West Indies team participated. So, solve these niggles like contract problems, and 50 over Cricket will be fit again.

Heat Transfer

One good thing about club football is that the excitement never stops with the on-field action. That too, not with a team called Real Madrid around. The era of the Galacticos is underway. The most exciting thing is imagining the team that will take the field for Real, and who all will be warming on the bench. It takes more than just thinking to imagine players like Robben, Sneijder and co sitting in the benches. But what great thing it would be for those determined enough to stay up at 1am and watch La Liga (im not included sadly) to see two former world player of the years, Kaka and Ronaldo play alongside each other. And other than this it could've also been Franck Ribery and David Villa joining them. It had to take Villa to specifically state that he will go nowhere, and if at all, only to join his mate at Anfield.

Tempers started running high between the opposite ends of El Classico with someone cheeky enough in Real to say that European Champions Barcelona will now fear Real. And then comes Xavi Hernandez stating that Barca will never be interested in Ronaldo because ' we are hardworking, loyal individuals, and dont fill pages of gossip magazines but Ronaldo is uncontrollable'. Barcelona did their bit of wooing too, albeit lesser names - Xabi Alonso, Javier Mascherano and Cesc Fabregas. The Liverpool duo's move is being resisted by Rafael Benitez. But the Arsenal star created resentment at Emirates by making public his views about Arsenal's incapability and impotency at winning trophies and he wanted to look for greener pastures. And the very next day he denies those claims but Barcelona pushed their luck talking about how Barca is in Fabregas's blood.

Inter Milan and Jose Mourinho are having their days in the news too. With top clubs - Barcelona and Chelsea having their eye on Zlatan Ibrahamovich, Inter did tough business. To Chelsea it was to cost Ricardo Carvalho, Didier Drogba and Anderson Deco ( Carvalho meanwhile cried about the lack of support he got during his injured days, and Deco has had a bad time too at Chelsea) mainly because Jose wanted his proteges back. Then after Chelsea's reluctance to sell any of their players, a price of 90m was slapped on Zlatan. Also on Jose's wishlist was Arsenal's Emmanuel Adebayor, who keeps singing the 'I'm a happy gunner' song. Jose is also keeping busy to stave off bids put for Brazilian full-back Maicon and former Pompy, Sally Muntari.

But you can never keep Manchester away from the spotlight (City too included this time). To start with, Manchester United is the club Ronaldo left for Real Madrid because he 'achieved all i can at ManU'. Sir Alex wished him luck and wasted no time in signing Wigan's Antonio Valencia. Though a good player, ManU fans will take a while to get adjusted with him after enjoying Ronaldo's heroics in that position. And then relegated Newcastle's striker Michael Owen was happy to join United. Carlos Tevez was fuming in the corner over the lack of attention at Old Trafford, listing out all the mistakes made by Sir Alex with him starting from his lack of communication. It resulted him in moving to rivals Manchester City who want to really boost their squad. Already joined with City are Aston Villa's Gareth Barry, and Parguaian Striker from Blackburn, Roque Santa Cruz. City also want to rope in Liasao on Robinho's recommendation and Samuel Eto'o.

There is so much movement in the market except to one place - North London. Arsene Wenger is happy to just extend the contracts of Ramsey and Wilshere. So the biggest thing to look out for at the season start is whether Real Madrid actually realise the worth of their spending and whether Arsenal rue their miserliniess (assuming no big players are bought till the end).

The road ahead for the team in yellow

Let me start this by saying Andrew Hilditch and co have administered a tried medicine by instating Ricky Ponting as the skipper till 2011. There are two faces to this: this could make the more young and tender team that exists now more sure of themselves as they have a veteran leader of 2 WCs and numerous other tourneys at their helm; the other set will think of CA as acting laidback for persisting on an old face when the other countries are looking for fresher leaders. Whether this move will yield results, only time will show. But i feel there is more chance of it working out than failing. But opinions differ. What lies ahead needs the biggest attention.

One does wonder why Ponting has been given back the captaincy for the T20 world cup, after a stint with Michael Clark which did deliver reasonable success. Probably the selectors thought they needed a bigger name to lead in a bigger tournament. Either way the T20 World Cup is not something many are expecting Australia to take home, atleast so back here in India. But rest assured Australia will be looking to go the full distance and get some loose ends tightened. They were handed a comprehensive defeat recently at Dubai at the Pakistani hands. A good start was floundered due to inept handling of wicket-to-wicket spin bowling. But on that end Clark and the Hussey brothers should be able to counter it. And the return of Lee will add some sting in the bowling. Symonds', Lee's, and Warner's run in the IPL will be relied upon by the Aussies. So the best possible line-up would be :

David Warner, Michael Clark, Ricky Ponting, Michael Hussey, David Hussey, Andrew Symonds, Shane Watson, Brad Haddin, Nathan Hauritz, Brett Lee and Nathan Bracken.

James Hopes and Ben Hilfenhaus should be useful substitutes subject to poor form of the above mentioned. I have not included Johnson in the XI to give room to Shane Watson and Symonds in one side, also, Johnson's relatively lesser T20 participation recently.
The above squad in full potential should deliver the goods with the perfect blend of everything. Hitters (Warner, Symonds, Watson), guides (Ponting, Clark and Mike), pacers (Lee, Watson and Bracken) and spinners (Hauritz, David and Clark).

Moving on.....

Same country, the world's oldest and most respected cricket tour- The Ashes. The test side showed its winners attitude when it went as underdogs to beat a high-flying South Africa in their own backyard. The opening pair is still coming to terms. Hughes is just 3 tests old, while Katich is revelling within his own limitations. Ponting looked business-like in that tour. However, Michael Hussey's form causes worry. Getting just one fifty in three tests is far from his usual self. Brad Haddin and Simon Katich however went strong guns in that series. Marcus North produced a match defining hundered, but faltered thereafter in the remaining parts of that tour. But one feels it as a big error omitting Andrew Symonds. The other Andrew i.e McDonald is no match. The bowling on the other hand looks delicious with what i saw in RSA without Lee and Stuart Clark. Johnson, who has been my favorite find in recent years has been their highest test-wicket taker in the past year. Also Peter Siddle produced fiery spells peppering the batsman at every chance and getting those crucial wickets. In any case The bowling looks more threatening. English conditions will test the soundness of the new opening pair. This is their first tour this decade to England with a opening pair other than Hayden and Langer. Katich and Hughes i feel will have the toughest job on hand. More so if Flintoff returns. The best XI should be:

Katich, Hughes, Ponting, M. Hussey, Clark, Watson, Haddin, Lee, Johnson, Clark and Siddle/Hauritz (subject to playing conditions). Hilfenhaus and North can act as suitable replacements.

This is a process of evolution for the new Aussie team. This coming journey to England will give lot of pointers as to where Australia's fortunes are heading. For mission 2011, the game starts now. And we wish the Aussies the best.............!!!!

The Brewing of LS09....... and pls save Tigers...

Two extravaganzas started simultaneously. One is over, and the other on the verge of it. The internationally more celebrated and adored one, the IPL2009 produced some topsy turvy tales which i assume is known to all. The other event, on the other hand, started before it actually started, and the concerned were already in the nets. Transfers (if i may call them that) had started an year in advance because one half of the Top Team ( lets call them TT) thought the more important half liked a foreign team's skipper more than that half. So that half, which we can call the Left half, quit the team and formed its own team recruiting players from teams who were threatened by the rise of moviestars who had learnt how to play. And teams which the fans had ditched in favor of TT's rival party also gave word to join with the Left half. They then called themselves the " Third Burp"

TT's rival, lets call them the Rusty's team , on the other hand decided that in order that TT falters in the competition, challenged TT's leader to a no-holds-barred wrestling match. But TT's leader was already in a hospital. So Rusty tried to ignite the passion in TT by calling their leader weak. The viewers were excited about the prospects of such a brutal match-up. But as per the team physio's advise TT's man kept away. So Rusty called for a debate. But even for that TT's physio felt it unwise to waste energy speaking before an important competition. As a result viewers got frustrated and broke into practice sessions and started throwing shoes at them.

Meanwhile players from another team ( called Superintendent) decided to join with TT to make up for the loss of its Left half in return for sawing off the legs of another team called Busted Superintendents. It became so difficult for TT to meet SP's demand such as influencing the ruling body to report the Busted-SP for suspect bowling action. So the superintendent got fed up and joined up with two smaller teams called '"Really Just Dead" and " Life's Jokingly Pathetic" who had quit TT because they wouldn't play in enough matches. They called themselves "Fourth Frock".

And so the Third Burp and the Fourth Frock sat on the wall, though FF was still humpty-dumpty, and if it fell it hoped to fall back on TT's side. And TB held press conferences just to tell everyone the same thing, everyday, everytime, every channel, every paper - ' we wont allow Rusty or TT to win'. When reporters asked their strategy for that, the reply made everyone bang their heads - ' we will inform all the fans not to allow Rusty or TT to win'. And another reporter would ask - ' ok but what will u give the fans for doing that?', the reply was even more astounding - ' we will give them table leaders that are not Rusty or TT'. That summed up TB's publicity.

Then the competition ended and TT retained their title. Rusty crumbled. Fourth Frock's velcro got loose and fell to the floor exposing shame. And the Left half and co had nothing left.

So what should we ask of our new league leaders? How about these?? :

1. First of all, protecting all viewers by stengthening its center-backs comprising of Nani-Sung Giggs (NSG), Ricardo Andrei Wembley (RAW) and Ingimar Berbatov (IB)

2. As all games are built on ticket-revenue, and people need money to buy tickets, and people need jobs to get money, TT must build new stadiums and roads to those stadiums and grounds so that people may work for it.

3. All players need a healthy diet, and one must eat for it, and one needs something eatable to eat, and farmers are needed to grow eatable things, and farmers can't grow them if they kill themselves or have no money. TT must continue and refine their good deeds of wiping out their loans by donating their match fees on a more holistic basis.

4. All matches are preceded by weather reports. In order to make sure such reports are credible TT need to find solutions and work with foreign teams to prevent 'climate change'.

5. And personally i feel all leagues and competitions need a mascot. Our league's mascot is the Tiger. Without real Tigers the mascot is just something like Mickey Mouse. So TT, i wish, doesn't make the Tiger a Mickey Mouse.

So Save the Tiger..........

Indian Premier League 2009 Favorites and dangermen

The auctions are over. Everything happened frpm KP and Freddie bagging riches to Mortaza being an item of hot pursuit. No Pakistani players in this edition. Aussies and England will have a half stay. Here I'm giving my guesses on who stands the best chances of grabbing the end prize.

1. Mumbai Indians: Mumbai Indians were probably the smartest buyers. After letting go of Ashish Nehra, they have bought India's best bowler today- Zaheer Khan. Their new additions are attractive too. Ashraful fills in for Uthappa though they'll have to work out their Foreign player - Homegrown player formula for that. Kyle Mills is a utility player that can do pretty much the job as Shaun Pollock can. It'll be a tussle for place between him and Pollock. Mills can hit the ball a fair distance when he's in the mood, even though he's principally a bowler. The only one who cannot be sure what he will be doing is Jean-Paul Duminy. Despite being South Africa's newest treasure, it's tough to include him in the XI since he's a player of the systematic type, plus the issue of 4 foreign player hits again.

Considering the existing players of Jayasuriya, Tendulkar, Bravo, Nayar, Kulkarni, Harbhajan etc, this team looks the most balanced and suited to lift the trophy.

2. Chennai Superkings: Last years runner look poised to finish the same position again. Lead by the world T20 champions captain, this team now avails the services of big-hitting Andrew Flintoff who also can also follow the batsman and disturb them with his pace and purchase off the wicket due to his height. Sri Lankan left armer Thilan Thushara joins compatriot Muralitharan, and George Bailey (of whom i know little) will join mate Matty.

Raina, MSD, Albie Morkel, Makhaya Ntini, homeboy Badrinath and Jacob Oram will be lurking around as the Superkings will try to devour opponents.

3. Hyderbad Deccan Chargers: Last edition's super-floppers will be eager to actually start something meaningful in IPL. They showed this eagerness by kicking out someone pursuing meaningless things - Shahid Afridi. Adam Gilchrist now completely takes over as captain. Chargers looked to strengthen their bowling department in the auction. Hopefully Fidel Edwards will breath fire in the right areas of the wicket. His West Indian team-mate Dwayne Smith also joins as he looks to provide his utility in the form of Stanford T20 experiences. He is also a boundary clearer like most others in the chargers team, in addition to being handy rolling over his arm. Chaminda Vaas was ineffective last time. Gilchrist may once again continue to patronise Vijaykumar and Ojha, but hopefully this time Edwards may make it easier.

The others in the team look as dangerous as the looked last season. Herschelle Gibbs, Scott Styris, Rohit Sharma, VVS, Venugopal Rao. Sharma has been off colour for India, but i bet on him to be the batsman of the IPL, VVS last season looked consistent, though slow but he scored everytime. Venu played some futile heroics. But Gilly and co will look to put last season behind and wake up this time. I wish my favorite team the best.

4. Rajasthan Royals: I will write to disappoint current champions. Sohail Tanvir's absence is a big blow. Shaun Tait will stay only for a part of the competition. Shane Warne has authored to buy his english county teammate, the imposing South African Tyron Henderson. According to Royals, he seems to be one to look out for as his price tag of $600,000 for someone untested suggests.

But thanks to Warney's guile, Watson's previous heroics, Asnodkar's expected continual of fly-swatting form, and presence of a good opener in Graeme Smith, Royals should be assured of a semi-final berth. However, this is subject to Watson and Smith's return from injury, as also on Warne's ability to extract the most of an otherwise lax Munaf Patel.

5. Kings XI Punjab: Their buys are Ravi Bopara and Jerome Taylor. Bopara may stay the full run since he's not expected to be in the Test Squad. Taylor is at the moment, being praised for a once in a while instance of bringing West Indian cricket joy with a terror spell of 5-11. Will he do the same in the IPL is a question mark.

The problem for them is the form Shaun Marsh is showing Australia and Sreesanth's holiday from the Indian team. But i predicted a reversal of fortunes for Rohit. Same could happen to Marsh. The positives for them is the form of Yuvraj Singh. Jayawardene has to start scoring, Sangakkara will be around too who's in reasonable touch. Irfan Pathan will have a heavy load to carry with respect to bowling and sometimes batting too. Kings XI will desperately hope Brett Lee returns from injury and to form, and that he plays atleast the expected 3 weeks for the team. Surely Priety Zinta will hope so.

6. Royal Challengers Bangalore: I assume Vijay Mallya this time wont have excuses like his opinion wasn't asked, that he was convinced Test teams will do etc. this time as i saw him sitting in the auction. RCB bagged Kevin Pietersen for $1.55m who will stay for just half the duration. Jesse Ryder is a dashy opener and will look to solve RCB's opening woes. He also may roll over his arm.

Misbah-Ul-Haq will be missing but Ross Taylor is in very good form at number 3. Rahul Dravid will have to put in a lot of work, i do feel sad for him as it is not his age to change his style to another extreme. But they've wisely bought slogger Robin Uthappa who may take Jacques Kallis's spot atleast until Pietersen leaves. Boucher will have an important job. The biggest star for them will be his mate Dale Steyn. He is a venomous bowler, who is sure to throw lightning bolts at batsmen. His 4 overs will make or break RCB's game. Dale Steyn is my bowler of the competition..

7/8. Kolkata Knight Riders: Shah Rukh Khan may have less jumping and pomp in this edition. They pulled of the most meaningless buy at a more shocking rate- Mashrafe Mortaza for $600,000. Both their premier bowlers Shoaib Akthar and Umar Gul will be absent. Much of the work load will rest on McCullum, Gayle, David Hussey and Ishant Sharma. Ganguly will have a tough time over his bowling options and will hope Ajantha Mendis finds his strangely mixing tricks in time for the IPL. Otherwise with just Ishant, Dinda and maybe himself, he will need 158s from McCullum every now and then.

8/7. Delhi Daredevils: Once again a problem of bowlers. Glenn McGrath is expected to stay away for personal reasons, while Mohd. Asif is banned for an year even if Pakistani's are allowed to participate. Sangwan is sold, who's place is taken by David Warner. Owais Shah and Paul Collingwood are their only buys, and Colly will surely leave midway. Farveez Maharoof and Yo Mahesh will share a bulk of the bowlers burden. Daniel Vettori will have to perform every match, but he is a very clever spinner who can throw surprises. And again the onus is on Virender Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir to almost win the match on their own. I see this team having a disastrous tournament. But hey, I could be wrong. This is T20, anything that defies all logic can happen. This is just a thoughtful prediction for my fun.

Happy IPL everyone...........

The art of Ransom

Being shrewd is a virtue that can take you where you may wish. And that too when you're pulling the strings of a diverse land spread over 3ooo kms from north to south. You may come and give me a black eye if you think iam talking about our dear Mohna (Manmohan Singh). Iam talking about the most familiar face in India after Mahatma and Nehru. Doctor Artist Muthuvel Karunanidhi, leader of THE most powerful party in Tamil Nadu, and the party with as many as 7 ministers sitting in the Lok Sabha. This play maker can make or break the running at the center. And he has shown just how much he can extract to his advantage. Three issues come and keep banging thoughts when one wants to list out his mastery over giving New Delhi sleepless nights that i suspect MK would do justice by paying Manmohan Singh's bypass surgery bill. Since he has such a hand in things, personally my choice to replace our PM at the republic day parade would be Kalaingar. But alas his SSCP stand has made him untouchable to many in the Hindi heartland who consider Lord Ram a part of popular folklore. OK, lets dive in:

1. The unrivalled Tamil leader: Kalaingar is a brave man. Alright maybe not, but he considers his loyal partymen as lion hearted. What a week it was. People of Chennai were having a squalor in their homes, with Lord Varuna in unleashed fury ( Had MK's habitual anti-hindu retorics irked him? Nah!). Varuna was motivated this time, he wouldn't cease, as he was giving a fitting reply to who were castigating him for long absence from work (Don't include me among them, I am averse to rain). But indeed Varuna had an example beneath him to follow and take a lesson on doing one's duty. Arcot Veerasamy, K Anbazhagan and other veterans stood in the rain braving their fragile age, in total commitment to their cause. The human chain formed in protest of poaching (tiger poaching) in Sri lanka was tens of kilometers long in various parts of the city. College students fought the urge to watch tv at home after college closed and took inspiration from the veterans to join the chain. Maybe they bargained for a signed letter from Veerasamy mentioning a week long OD for them, after they may fall ill standing in the rain. Motorists were stranded in the rain and chain and movement was a hassle, but they thought of the plight the veterans were going through at their age.
You may say they have nothing to do unlike daily bread earners. You are wrong. For the first time in years Tamil Nadu power generation establishments are running short on supplies. The state was reeling under power cuts of varied durations, with even the state capital enduring 1.5-2 hrs a day, and over 4 hrs a day in other districts. Yet our Electricity Minister, Arcot K Veerasamy was steadfast on being loyal to his party leader. Mills in Tiruppur were shutting down, Agricultural workers were whining about low procurement prices, Truckers were striking, all and what not was going on. Yet Anbazhagan (finance min) and TR Baalu (Highways and shipping min) have taught us a valuable lesson- Loyalty to your supremo.
All this have been endured by MK (or atleast his next in seniorities) for the cause of the tamils across the sea. But MK may be too far-sighted behind those darkened spectacles. His foremost duty is to take care of this side of the Indian Ocean. The pressure applied on the center for demanding a cease-fire in favor of our former PMs assassinators, could have been spent on demanding Sushil Kumar Shinde a solution to the power crisis in the state. There are riots and communal clashes tearing apart Uthapuram and villages in Villupuram. Claiming to be in line with EVR Periyar (dont get me wrong but i have plenty of reason to not like this person) these ought to be bigger concerns for MK. Yet MK held the country to ransom. He threatened with the pull-out of ministers from the cabinet if Pranab and co didn't act fast to save the Tiger. The old statesman frenzied to Chennai, met MK and only after timely action and distribution of relief was assured did he, to the relief of the Congress which had just recently survived a Trust Vote on the floor, ask his party ministers to stay where they are.
But MK has proved why he is the unmatched politician. Just months ago his sons rivalled over survey polls and burnt down offices, which strangely led to the birth of new tv channels, and dish tv services, that in turn led to fights between cable operators and networks and yada-yada-yada ....... and they united back and another yada-yada-yada........he's seen as the Tamil Leader, as Thol Thirumavalavan was ready to die for his leader's people's cause but only for another tamil political enigma Ramadoss who had left MK returned over the Tamil Tiger issue, as MK is the tamil leader, who else to turn to.
And the tamil leader he is. He gives us Rice a kg at oru roobaih and color tv. Even if we cant run our pumpsets we can still eat and watch tv. So we have voted him back at Thirumangalam, and also because there's no one else we can choose. (The TINA- there is no alternative factor).

2. Sethusamudram is a myth:Some years ago a google satellite image had shown a underwater bridge connecting northern Sri Lanka to Danushkoti. To MK it had also shown ships being carried by its crew across the mythical bridge and then being placed back on water after they had carried it across the bridge. To hell with ecosystems and biospheres. Detsroy the bridge. After all, no one can appreciate life under water except for divers. Equality is the mantra. In the tsunami the Adam's bridge barraged and impeded the monster's speed and as a result it was preferential treatment to Tuticorin, Kanyakumari, Tiruchendur and Rameswaram while Nagapattinam, Cuddalore etc bore the brunt. How dare it strike the land of the Tamil Tigers as opposed to better targets?? If Adam's bridge failed to help NE Lanka then it shall not exist.

The case lies in the SC, dredging is at a standstill and environmentalists, archaeologists and MKs men are at loggerheads. 6 alignments were proposed and one of them (no.5 i think) leaves the Adam's Bridge unharmed. But for reasons which we can only assume, MK isn't finding anything except the present one acceptable.
MK is so anxious of the SSCP like a pregnant mother that he defied a SC order and held a bandh past october, only to later deny of such doings after threats were issued of imposing article ### (356 i think) and immediately set the house in order. The state was accused of being in constitutional abrogation. Experts say that the SSCP is just a short-term benefit, with minimal fuel savings, and with development of Tuticorin and other ports, with the increase in number of high capacity, high tonning container ships, the canal would seldom serve a worthy purpose after having destroyed a rarest of ecosystems.
MK then found full form after washing off Lord Ram and Sethu a myth, and thus inflamming the passions of people in the north. An extreme VHP leader (yes i call extremists what they are) went to the extent of putting a price on MKs head.

3. 50,000 crore, no big deal for MK: I confess im less educated on this issue. But i do know of Andimuthu Raja's famous scandal as the Minister of Telecommunication and IT. Spectrum is a rare resource. In the previous NDA government, the price was fixed after, i dunno a evaluative auction or some other method. Anyway a price was fixed and spectrum was sold to service providers at those rates. Raja announced spectrum sale to interested buyers just around 15 or so days before the actual sale. It was sold at under-valued prices, at prices defined by the previous NDA govt, without re evaluating the prices, or as experts want, by auctioning it. As a result the country lost 50,000 crore in national exchequer, some claiming it to be over 100,000 crore now. This is said to be India's biggest ever scandal, but lucky fellow Raja has escaped due to timely help from Ramalinga Raju. A scandal of this scale by a totally careless procedure is a serious issue. One wonders whether Dayanidhi Maran would have been allowed to be indicted in fraud had he still been the IT min after fallout with the MK family. Instead it's been a boon for both Dayanidhi and Raja. Dayanidhi didn't earn the name of a scandalist, and Raja still has the support from MK, who claimed Raja followed the procedures. And that's all that matters. The Left were calling for sacking Raja happily now that they had broken away from the DPA. This is a scandal not to be forgotten. Poor people in the center didn't know how to handle the issue. They will now be thankful that the issue is forgotten.

No wonder our PM lies in the hospital, that too of heart problems. It is a probably the most peaceful time of his last 5 years. Atlast someone else will have to dance to MK's music now. Something that Mohna sweated heavily on.

To worry or not to.....

I can see the immense satisfaction in some people. They have been waiting for it for long. The country feels really proud. What am i talking about? Chandrayan-I? Expecting a 5% growth rate in recession? Or the squabbles going on in Pakistan?? None to all of this. But indeed this - The Aussies have been dethroned. People recollect how MSD won back the Border-Gavaskar trophy winning 2-0. How an supposedly aggressive Australia crawled with an annoyingly slow run rate in the last Test. How in contrast India were making a mockery of Australia's deep hole in the spin department, taking Jason Krezja for 200+ (That he scalped 8 is a different story).
No, that wasn't the end. The high flying Proteas won 2-1 in the Aussie backyard. Australia failed to defend a 4th innings target of 414 despite Johnson (their highest wicket-taker in tests in 2008) scalping 8 wickets in the first innings. And how even more, many endeared Jean-Paul Duminy and Dale Steyn for a defying 76 to marshall South Africa to 440 odd from being 160 odd for 5. And Steyn added 10 wickets to his kitty in the match.

But is this the end? The end of an era of Invincibility? I would say yes for now. That Australia are able to still make a match with teams in this position speaks for the good shape the habit of winning gave to them. It's understandable to go through this phase after losing about half of your invincibility era heroes. Look at the names - Justin langer, Shane Warne (the big one), Glenn McGrath, Adam Gilchrist and now Mathew hayden. You can include Stuart MacGill too for the tremendous job he did in Warney's abscence. Jason Gillespie too.

People who label this as the end of the Aussies may have to eat their words later. Currently all teams are on a level footing (by all i mean Aus, RSA, Ind, SL and with hesitation England). We may witness a brawl among these big teams for the climb back to number one. South Africa could be on their knees currently with others still getting up, holding on to each others pants to pull them down. But don't forget there is Australia too in the brawl room. They may just well press on others backs to be the first to stand up once again.

Just look at the names that will leave the teams soon - the 'little master' Sachin Tendulkar will soon come to it, even if we are reluctant to let him, there's the Wall Rahul Dravid, of late walking his innings with a stick, and the very very special Laxman. Plus the departure of Sourav Ganguly and Anil Kumble are not solidly filled yet. Yuvraj is yet to consistently perform in tests. Mishra has looked good till now, but let him dip, we could like the Aussies be switching spinners every other day - between him and Piyush Chawla. Thankfully the pace attack looks settled, but we dont have a dependable 3rd paceman. Irfan, RP, Munaf, Sreesanth are all probables but not one is a definite answer (even though they should be).

Look at other teams too - Let the magician Muralitharan and the veteran Chaminda Vaas bid adeiu, Lanka may struggle for replacements (though Mendis has rattled the world). And taking into account home matches and Murali you may see different results if u look deep into it.
South Africa though have more or less balanced their problems. Shaun Pollock had left only after the sureity of a Morne Morkel. Dale Steyn has been quick to come forward and the middle order may get stonger after Ashwell Prince's return. Even their important opener and skipper has a good number of years in him. The only areas needing attention are the keeper (which may go to AB De Villiers) , Smith's opening partner Neil McKenzie (assuming he doesn't strike form any time soon) and the rock solid Jacques Kallis at number 3 who will be more than difficult to replace considering his utility with the ball. But comparitively they look bright ( yes, u may not accept - even compared to India).

But then this may disappoint some - Australia have a good chance to get back where they were as well. Shaun Marsh is doing more than a fine job at Mathew Hayden's position, atleast in the ODI's and he has age to his credit. Mitchell Johnson has looked deceptive and strike-dependable the past year and he's in the mid 20s. So is the now out-of-hibernation tearway speedster Shaun Tait who can do well by fine-tuning himself. David Hussey has given glimpses of his abilities in T20s and also ODIs in the West Indies. There is also all-rounder Shane Watson who has been irritating the selectors with his addiction to injuries. But minus that and given a prolonged run he's bound to shine as he showed in the IPL. If u argue it was a T20 tournament, i can asure u his batting technique is better than that of Andrew Symonds who's done well in tests. But the worry still remains in the spin department and also the wicket keeper. As for spin, no one near Warne or for that matter MacGill is in sight and Haddin has about 2-3 years with him. Nathan Bracken rated number 1 in one dayers can be inducted back for tests. The pace department IS healthy, considering that Brett Lee has it in him to make a memorable return.

This is a phase of not decline but restructuring for the Aussies. To repair a highway, lanes are closed, service lanes are bumpy, dusty and a harrowing experience. It gets ugly before it becomes a beauty. Similarly, the Aussies will be hurt, yes they will drop ranking points, they will lose series' home and away. But it wont be for eternity. One day they'll be back in the fast lane. What was Sangakkara 6 years ago? What was Smith? What was our beloved MSD before the T20 world cup?

The world cup is 2 years down the line. By the time Johnson, Bracken, Lee, Tait, Marsh, David Hussey, Watson, and other worthy new-comers who may come would have had enough days together to have forged a strong side to claim their merit for the ultimate reward.

The question - to worry or not to? I would say Aussies need to worry for now to find a spinner and a younger keeper or atleast make sure they keep haddin till a wothy replacement arrives. Having solved them, other things will definitely fall in place for Ricky to claim a 3rd world cup as captain.