The Making of a Magician

Muthiah Murlitharan has decided he's had enough of the classical format of the gentleman's game. Muralitharan was probably not the classical spinner, for revolutionaries are rarely classic, but a gentleman he sure was. A revolutionary of all sorts he was - from putting himself miles ahead of runner-up Shane Warne who has 709 test wickets, and also with regards to the revolutions he imparts to the ball. The dismissal of MS Dhoni in his last test is the most recent demo of the exaggerated turn he can get out of even a partially helpful surface. His anticipating wide open eyes, his happy grin and enthusiastic appeals will be lasting images. His farewell to tests marks history with great spinners now having bid adieu and the leading spinners now, India's Harbhajan Singh and New Zealand's Daniel Vettori not having even half of Murali's tally.

In a 18 year career, Murali has probably made his property almost all bowling records that can strike your mind. It was mind-blowing to watch a list of records that was screened on ten-sports on the last session of the test, before the commentator had to apologetically say there's much more he hasn't told. As many as 800 test wickets, 67 test 5-wicket in an innings hauls, 9 wickets in an innings twice, 50 plus wickets against all test playing nations, a cabinet full of man of the match and man of the series trophies. But most of all it is his consistency against teams that are traditionally good handlers of spin, or for any. The stat that many critics point to, that he has a good chunk against Zimbabwe and Bangladesh, is only a pointer to the obvious tendency that those teams will struggle more against his genius. Even deducting those scalps leaves Murali with a whopping 600 plus. In fact, there are only a handful of names that can be credited with being able to handle him. Brian Lara's name comes to mind automatically. Maybe Andy Flower and Marcus Trescothick could join him, with their accurate and long strides and ability to employ the sweep to good effect. None other i can think of atleast.

It is perhaps this incredible genius that made former Sri Lanka skipper, Arjuna Ranatunga, who Murali was quick to express gratitude, to lead his team in protest after Murali was no-balled for a suspect action by Darrell Hair in the 1993 seris in Australia. Murali was cleared, but had to face agony again, this time from umpire Ross Emerson who had the nerve to say Murali didn't deserve his record. But then ICC discovered that a whole lot of bowlers bent more than the then permissible limit, and agreed to relax the rules in view of the larger interest of the game. A gentleman Murali, though, told Tony Greg on his last day's presentation ceremony that both umpires were actually correct since they had been merely doing their jobs and he held nothing against them. A trademark of a role model.

The most fearful thing about facing Murali is that the batsman can never be sure what is coming. Is it his off spinner, which itself can turn a mile to cause headaches, or whether it is his famous 'doosra', or a skidder, or maybe even a Warney leg spinner that Murali once delivered to good effect from around the wicket. Also to note is that Murali has always been an excellent fielder off his own bowling.

It is Murali who has actually helped the cricket fans of this generation gain awareness of legends like Jim Laker. It can be said that his determination made him. On asked how he'd feel if he doesn't get 800 wickets on day 2 of his last test, he said he had made up his mind that 800 is just another number and so he would still not regret deciding to retire one match too early. Quite surely 15 years ago we witnessed Murali making up his mind to continue for Sri Lanka no matter how many times he's no-balled, no matter how many times he's examined. It is that 'Making up of Murali's mind' that has got him 800 test wickets, that has made Murali the Muthiah Muralitharan that the world now knows.

A word repository

There are times when your head houses a lot of ideas and thoughts but nothing concrete comes out of it all. For example after the Indian Rupee got its new symbol, everyone went ecstatic heralding the dawn of new era, about how India entered an elite group of countries. I envied how those who were picked out of the street by news channels had something to say about it on the spot. I imagined myself being asked about it, and all i found myself saying was some utter gibberish like "wow, our Rupee has a symbol. Now in future we need to press only one key on our keyboards, instead of the two needed for 'Rs'". And then the reporter told me " I think you'll need to hold down shift. So its two keys again". And then I' cry "D'oh!", and become the embarrassment of the nation on a day it should've felt proud.

So i stopped thinking of that bit of news. Just as to keep pace with me and to target my lack, so did the news channels. They went on to a certain Indo-Pak composite dialogue. Till date I dont know what 'Composite' means. All I know it means it isn't simple. Which probably is the reason behind all the trash talking that followed. Mr. Krishna probably went to Qureshi and said "The complete delegation inclusive of my personal being, has its reservations and skepticism over the Kilo-Joules expended by the concerned parties from your side, in ensuring punctual and sincere satisfaction of our needs to bring to book the admonishable and heinous conspirators of 26/11", when all he really should've said was "We're angry." Mr. Qureshi was taken aback by the longest opening sentence in dialogue process history and decided enough words were spoken for the meeting. So he cut short on voicing his concern. He wanted to say " We are disappointed that GK Pillai is not patient with our handling of Hafeez Sayeed". So he deleted 10 words from the script and ended up with a blunderous "GK Pillai is Hafeez Sayeed". Hopefully some months down the line i hear of an Indo-Pak Simple Dialogue process. Atleast the ordinary citizen will be able to understand what the talk is.

And as far as some of those burning their houses over the broken dialogue are concerned; they want Octopus Paul to predict whether the next such attempt will bomb or not. This would've started a debate between Germany and Spain. Germans who were already researching a new Octopus delicacy for predicting Spain over them, silently pray that it predict a successful dialogue, so that LeT and ISI would save them the trouble of preparing a dish that many mentally sane Humans expressed disgust about ingesting. Spain on the other hand were more worried about a more fatal prediction. A prediction doing the rounds of everyone's mobile inboxes in Tamil Nadu - Whether Vettaikaran is better or Suraa is. It is feared that faced with such a choice, it would jump out of its aquarium and die. Probably the easiest prediction it is faced with is whether Velayutham would flop or hit the box office. With a section of keen gamers vying for Dr's blood for stealing from Assassin's Creed, and theaters refusing to screen the movie over non-payment of compensation for the losses from screening Suraa, Paul has his easiest prediction to make. But then Dr could get angry over such a prediction and shout at it to maintain "SILENCE!!!". It's a hard hard life for an Octopus.

It would rather agree to be transferred to some other aquarium so that it can jump from the flight over mid-ocean and start living with ordinary octopi . Hopefully it would be a flight headed to anywhere except Mexico. Lest it jump right into some slimy oil. With the way things are going BP may pick it up and ask it to predict whether they will make more money trading oil or by setting up the world's grandest Salmon, Prawn and Tuna Barbequeue.

But that could lead to Usain Bolt and Co gaining few extra pounds after finding roasted Salmon selling at ridiculously cheap rates in Jamaica. He would then feel that the only setting he can get away with gross unfitness (don't worry Mr. Kirsten. Im not talking about your boys) is the Commonwealth Games. Probably MS Gill will take it easy after pleading with them to "Bring your athletes and not your officials" and "also bring some Barbequeue Tuna".