It seems that US , the pioneer of the climate change campaign found itself completely at a loss on the last day and stitched up a half baked draft with leaders of India, China and South Africa to save its face. Here learn what transpired in those late hours.
US: (yawn!) ok look everyone.... its getting late, im tired. So please lets get this done with...
India's Representative: Yes. Sure! Why we could wrap it up right away.... You see, we have this small three page draft. All u have to do is say you like it and we'll be on our way home...
US: What if i dont like it?
China's Rep: Oh but you will like it....
US: (puzzled) how're you so sure about that?
CH: Cos if you dont like it, its gonna get even late...
US: Ah crap.... I can't believe you're making me submit to blackmail.
IND: Blackmail? Oh no no no... we're not gonna do anything to you if you dont accept. We will sit and talk, and we can talk, and still talk....
US: Look. You dont understand. I can't stay any longer. I gotta get back to DC. I have too many things to worry about.....(pauses).... And i can't accept that draft. I'll be belched by others if i do..
SA's Rep: We'll talk, i'll go get some coffee so we don't sleep.
US: NO NO NO.... I CAN'T STAY, NO TIME!!!
IND: No time? thats a very bad reason.... Look at me... my high command has ordered everyone to stay away from five star hotels, luxury cars and first class flights....
US: High Command? You people have someone other than the PM and President?
IND: Errrrr.... no... but thats not the point. So im staying in a barn 30 kms from here sleeping on a stack of hay. And to get here the farmer gives me a ride in his wagon when he comes to the market and i hitch a ride from there.... So if your excuse is time, i have plenty to give. But im not.
US: Well what can i tell everyone if they ask me why i accepted this?
CH: I thought you were smart. But u can't think of the simplest reason. Isn't money still money whatever you give money for?
US: Please i dont want puzzles, now....
CH: Yes. Didn't you give 10 billion to Pakistan to fight terror. So you say you give money to Pakistan to fight climate.... you know.... since thats the only country you people agree to send aid..
US: How does that help you Mr.China?
CH: Oh we have no problem taking our money from them....
IND: Hold on you prick! what the hell are we supposed to do? We can't take it from them.
SA: Yeah.....
IND: Look ... I have an idea... Listen carefully...
US: Go on....
IND: What was your chief motto on which you ran your election?
US: uh... alot... Healthcare, Jobs, Afghanistan, Pa...
IND: No. Hold. I mean your catchphrase. You remember?
US: 'We need change'?
IND: Exactly.
US: So?
IND: (menacingly) Ok. Why're you here?
US: Why am i here???
IND: At Copenhagen?
US: To discuss climate change
IND: What about climate change?
US: Ways to prevent it....
IND: There you go...
US: You're nuts.... I dont understand....
IND: IM nuts if YOU dont understand?
US: (blank)
IND: Since you promised your people change, and if you prevent it. Isn't that going against your promise?
US: Bah.....
IND: Climate Change... It's a change too. So you tell everyone you didn't force anything legally binding on us so that you ensure the people of the world CHANGE!!! And you tell them you're keeping your election promise......
US faints and falls down
CH: Oh Jesus , i think you killed him.
SA: What do we do now?
IND: He's breathing. We'll wait for him to get up, you still have that card deck eh?
SA: Sure do...
They play Poker for half hour and US regains consciousness.
US: (holding his hurting head) ew... couldn't you guys wait for me?
IND: You look terrible, finish your coffee on the table, and you can sign the draft.
US: (looks at the coffee): Its cold....
CH: So were you too.... Out COLD for half hour...
(All three laugh)
US: OK i give up, give me the pen, where do i sign?
IND: Addaboy.... there you go!! (pats him)
US: OUCH....!!!
IND: Sorry...!!!
US: You know my popularity's been falling and i hope this doesn't kill it any further...
IND: It wont, and so what if it does? Your fortunately not in coalition unlike us. You have three more years in you....... unless something strange happens
CH: Like if he dies.....
US: (looks at CH disgustingly)
IND: Shut up. He's not gonna die in office.
US: Well, thats it. Im done. Relief atlast. Goodbye...
IND: Poker?? We'll start a new game....
US: (after deep thought) Well, alright...
They keep playing when unexpectedly England and Italy Reps enter.
UK: What the hell're you guys doing? Where's the draft?
US: It's done.
UK: Ya but where is it?
US: (looks at the table where Italy Rep is scribbling on it)
UK: Hey....!! (looks at it) Aaah.... what the f***, ur doodling underwears again?
IT: Soffy..
CH: Soffy?
IT: fomeone funched my nofe with a vetal thattuette.... fo i found like that.
UK: We can't accept this.... Look at this (shows to IT)
IT: why u fowing it to me? Ib the one who vrew it...
UK: Not the doodles, THE TEXT!!
US: Ok tell u what... forget about that, join us for poker. we'll look at that later.
UK: Are you crazy or something? The planets future depends on this....
IND: What do you think (looks at ITA)
ITA: (at UK): i think we have time to flay.... Ib joining theb....
UK hesitates for some minutes and then
UK: Oh what the heck, deal the cards for me too....
US: Ok this should be fun, i'll go get some beer...
UK: yeah....
IND: What say we do this next year too??
UK: Im in....
SA: Me too...
CH: Sure....
ITA: with fleasure...
IND: (shouts across the hall) How about you uncle sam, you wanna do this next year??
US: (shouts back) IM ALREADY THERE....!!!
And they lived happily ever after...
