A dose of amnesium nitrate

The assembly results are out. Whether it surprised you or went by your expectations, you still talk about it. And its all down due to the main protagonists and 'faces' for the party propogandas. In any contest, how you react and respond to the result is as important as you prepare for the contest. And our political honchos are no stranger to that pearl of wisdom. And the grandfather, sorry, grand-old party were the first to start working on that. Their professional ethic is so good that they started planning on how to react a day before the results. Rather than wait and react live based on how events unfolded. I would imagine it went by like this in the meeting:
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Rahul Gandhi: People, we're expected to be torn and thrown away in all 4 states. What do we do?

Digvijay Singh: We blame the RSS of course.

Rahul: How Guruji?

Digvijay: We say RSS is training young people in making bombs.

Rahul: What? That's complete nonsense Guruji!

Digvijay:  No its not. Think about it. These RSS cadre have placed bombs in all states which exploded and thus we have been dismembered completely.

Rahul: So what do we say we are going to do about it?

Digvijay: We shall order an investigation by the CB......

Rahul: Thats enough Guruji. Anyone else? Ideas?

Sonia: I have one. Something that'll make everyone feel sorry for us and support us for losing the elections.

Rahul: Yes maa, tell.

Sonia: Let us say we lost deliberately because power is poison and we care about each and every candidate, while other parties don't care even if their candidates die.

Rahul: Maa, they will say Harsha is a doctor so he will look after his legislators health. So is Raman Singh ji. They will ask we also have our PM Doctor who will save us if we were poisoned, so why did we lose?

Sonia: He can? So I unnecessarily went to the US for a check up and got a lawsuit against me there?

Manish Tewari: Mrs high command, our PM is not a medical doctor. He has not even demonstrated  his prowess to operate upon the Indian Economy and resurrect it and enforce a closure to the recursive palpitations and regurgitations by exhuberantly....

Rahul: Manish ji, please. It is because of the existance of people like you that I am called Budhdhu and Pappu. Look, even Chidambaram ji is opening the dictionary app on his mobile.

Chidambaram: Oh no no no. Im trying to contact this counting official who helped me win on recount from Sivaganga in the previous LS elections. He has assured me he'll do the same for Shiela madam. I have to tell him I can't pay him immediately because I used all my 2G money to ask Raja to shut up and stop asking for his statements blaming me in the JPC report.

Sonia: No problem, I can loan you. I am richer than the Queen you see.

Rahul: People, people! Stay focussed! You tards have to help me here. I have made a big enough fool of myself trying to project non-existant 'good governance' by our state leaders.

Manish: I would excuse myself to suggest you to comprehensively, but conservatively consider...

Rahul: Shut up! We should have proposed to the EC to cover your mouth instead of covering lotuses.

Renuka Choudhary: We can say that this will not alter our chances in the LS elections.

Rahul: But thats what is exactly the problem. The BJP have whitewashed us 4-0. We have to change our squad. If we don't, like India didn't after getting whitewashed by England and got again whitewashed by Australia, we will also be whitewashed again. So we have to talk about dropping few members.

Renuka: You are suffering from selective ammonia, just like the BJP are suffering from selective ammonia. You forget that later India also beat Australia 4-0. And BJP forget that last LS elections also they lost after winning state elections.

Rahul: Your point reeks of amnesium nitrate. I think I will start revamping my team by dropping you first. Ok people, it seems AAP may do better than us. How shall we defend ourselves about this?

Sanjay Jha: Why don't you just use philosophical metaphors like you usually do? It will sound sweet but be so meaningless, that people will be searching what it means and never ask a follow up question.

Rahul: Good thinking Sanjay, just like why no one except Arnab asks you follow up questions on the newshour.

Sanjay: What if Arnab asks us about AAP beating us?

Rahul: Thats ok, one can never anyway answer him, If you are afraid I will send Mrs Amnesium Nitrate here instead of you.

Ajay Maken: I can help you. I will act like giving a press conference, then pretend to attend a call when you can gate-crash and give an impromptu press conference. The last time we did that, everyone forgot that we even attempted to pass an atrocious ordinance and remembered only your heroics.

Digvijay: We can blame the RSS.

Rahul: Oh, why Guruji? WHY??

Digvijay: It was because of RSS supporting saffron clad Ramdev who lent support to Anna Hazare because of who Kejriwal became a popular crusader. Anything which has saffron grassroots is evil, right?

Rahul: Wah! Dekhiye mera guruji ka bada gyan!

Sanjay: How?

Digvijay: Very easy. We just have to tell this saffron connection to Rajdeep bhai and his tunch maal wife and Mrs Burkha. Already she will be upset. She would have hoped to get a hand in forming the assembly like she had in forming the cabinet 2009. Now we can use her anger and disappointment and redirect it on AAP.

Sonia: Oh Diggy, what will we do without your gyan? You have saved us again.

Rahul: Ok people. Finally. People are making fun of me because everywhere I campaign we have lost badly from Bihar, UP, Gujarat and these 4 now. What can I say?

Ajay: Tell them that BJP loses wherever Modi campaigns too. Tell them about Karnataka.

Rahul: Thats just one state. And look at the crowd at his rallies, they will say election results are a reflection of it.

Digvijay: Blame the RSS

Rahul: Again Guruji? How?

Digvijay: RSS considers Bharath as their Mata. So the Hindu brigade of RSS cursed you for denigrating their Mata.

Rahul: But Guruji, I have never denigrated the country.

Digvijay: Yes you have. You said India is a river. Have you seen how dirty Yamuna and Ganga are? You just called Bharath Mata as dirty. Atleast you should have specifically told that India is Sabarmati river. And in India all states have rivers. So all states you campaign in we are losing.

Rahul: Guruji, your wisdom is humbling. Guruji I have realised now that RSS is the answer to everything.

Rahul: Ok maa, Guruji and other tards! We are going to put up a brave face and defend our position to the best of our ability. We will rise out of this abyss with the escape velocity of Jupiter. If any journalist dares to be unbiased and exhibits even an ounce of integrity we will give them a dose of amnesium nitrate which will affect them mentally so much that they spend the rest of their lives reading the lines on the palm of the congress symbol.
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If the minutes of the real brainstorming session contained any more sense than this, I'd be damned. Kudos electorate of Delhi, Rajasthan, MP and Chattisgarh!

The NaMo vs RaGa saga

This campaign season has so far proven to be a new dawning in Indian political history. Needless to say, this is primarily down to two main contributors, one of who at the end of it all could be crowned as the leader of the country, the Prime Minister. One is exhuberant and  brimming with spirit and confidence coming from his spectacular successes as a 3 time Chief Minister of his state. The other is harping on a mellowed approach by highlighting pains and sorrows of self and the public on the 'sorrow shared is sorrow halved' lines.  

The waves the first one, Narendra Modi, has created across the country has rarely been seen for any leader in this generation. The astounding nature of his popularity can be guaged from the nearly 3 lakh people assembled for his rally in Tiruchy, Tamil Nadu, a state where his party, the BJP, never manages more than a couple of seats. So much so that he himseld admitted surprise at the reception he recieved there. Oh, and that was despite a Rs 10 entry fee. And it was only better in the northern parts where people climbed poles and grabbed onto every inch of space they could to be a part of this wave. 

 As a politician going into the failures of the ruling govt is a part of the package. But the difference between him and others lies in so much more. His ability to connect with audience being unparalleled, the country has hooked on to his studied plans and vision for India. Of course the vision is spoken on broader terms, but at this stage that is in itself a great deal with problems and bad policies staring everyone in the face whichever way they turn. His great eye sensitive issues is exemplified by his defense of the PM and condemnation of the Pakistani PM when the latter made a distasteful remark of the former. Even though the PM's own party members and national media let it slide and even went to the extent of defending the Pakistani PM's remark. The textbook political rally contents of development and corruption by the ruling party are much easier for him to connect to the audience, thanks to the utter failure on these fronts by the present day govt. 

Of course they would be all but hollow rhetoric if he had nothing to show for.  Which is why his references to the Gujarat model of development have become a model that everyone would like to see implemented throughout India. Even let us give some leeway and accept that there might still be a few regions without 24x7 power, some unirrigated regions, some skewed development etc. But the simple facts like more parts of the state enjoying quality 24x7 power than other states, the industrial development and consequent rise in jobs, healthy compensation for land to rural landowners and farmers, and visible development as in Ahmedabad BMRT, the Sabarmati waterfront, administrative efficiency and transparency and a much better maintainance of law and order and peace have made the people look up to the Gujarat model and see that it is for real. 

  

Of course the nitpickers abound as well. Sadly for them, they have no option but confide in just lie peddling and distortion of statements and the age old but failed strategy of bringing back ghosts of 2002 riots. An everyday dose of sooth-saying keeps the spirits of these people alive. By sooth-saying, that they keep disregarding that Modi is the most popular leader in the country and go on with drivel that says he has no mass appeal and is irrelevant outside his home state of Gujarat. That despite the fact that he attracted larger crowds in some parts than even local leaders would have. There is no shortage of distortion of statements be it an expression of sadness over lives lost in a riot or the idealistic notion that one is a nationalist as well ascribes to his religion. By distorting statements to the effect saying for example, Modi compared Muslims with puppies, says more on the cheap thought process of the distorters rather than anything but a sincere expression of remorse by Modi. Not a day passes too without someone or the other accusing Modi of inciting communal tensions and being a enemy of minorities. When in truth, nobody can find any content in his addresses other than related to development, policies, or simply the failure of the ruling govt. This is the reason that they keep bringing up 2002 for everything under the sun, or distort his statements like in the 'puppy' or 'hindu nationalist' cases. A concentrated attempt to make as much of what Modi says as they can to appear as communal or divisive.

The media plays its part too. From wondering whether Modi as a PM would enforce liquor prohibition nationwide to repeated and dire efforts to make him accept culpability for 2002 on TV to silly twitter questionnaires (other than being silly for expecting Modi to reply to each of those tweets) meant for him that even those in official positions could be able to answer only after consultations. Of course they are broke at times. So they go after the next on the list, famously known as Modi's 'right hand man', Amit Shah. They put wonderful debate headlines like "Will investigation on Amit Shah lead to Modi's involvement?" Or something like that. Quite clearly both rival politicos and the media are in dire straits. They are clutching at straws trying to build huts from whatever they have. They are faced with a dry well. They just need something to 'nail' Modi with. Naturally this becomes the reason why graver and more important news topics go to the backburner more quickly than they should. No need for examples as they have been abundant in recent times whether it be foreign policy goofups, cross border atrocities or abominable statements by politicians other than Modi or his party BJP.

Coming to the wave the other person has been creating, if it could be called waves in the first place. Rahul Gandhi is poles apart in the tenor and content as opposed to Modi. His address to the CII has already acquired legendary comic proportions because of its richness in metaphors and similies and scarcity in substance and sense. His public rallies haven't been too much better. His speech after appointment as party VC reeked of divisive content and appeasement as he irrelevant to the occasion, harped on the illusionary threat of 'saffron terror'.  Also the regular dose of melancholic wailing found its place as he recounted tales of how his mother and party chairperson Sonia, cried when she made him VC as she felt 'power was poison'. 

One of the noteworthy things in any of his rallies is that, though he expounds on how his party thinks for the poor and does everything for the poor, he never once speaks of taking any measures that would actually aid them come out of poverty. And maybe something that may only make them feel worse, he regularly dishes out confusing philophical gems e.g. 'poverty is a state of mind' or 'you should get out of poverty with the escape velocity of jupiter'. What do those even mean?  If that didn't work Rahul would innovate. The next strategy was to connect to the voters on his childhood trauma and violence. We do understand that he loved his grandma and father. But quite frankly how many people's votes does he expect to win on the basis of the pain he felt when they were killed or whether he played badminton with his grandma's killers. All he needed to do to realise the foolishness of that approach was to think about the families of all the army jawans and BSF who had been mercilessly killed through this year by Pakistani gunmen and all the ministers in his party did were absolve the killers by proposing the ridiculous theory that terrorists came in Pakistani army uniforms to gun down our soldiers. And still those families have seen not the slightest movement towards a fitting reply to Pakistan that would release an ounce of their pain. Explaining the pain he feels for the poor just because he was bit by mosquitoes make hilarious reading, imagine how hilarious hearing it live would have been. How Rahul choose an approach of crying over personal trauma is beyond logical reason.

The crying would continue and contagiously spill over to Sonia too, with Rahul saying that she cried when terrorists were killed in an encounter, cried when he was made party VC and cried because she was in the US when food security bill was passed. He has to be told that people have TV serials and shows to cry over daily and they don't need political rallies for it. But Rahul will have to overcompensate, that being the prime reason for his bravado appearance where he 'tears up and throws out' a 'nonsense ordinance'. Lie peddling would invariably become a utility as Rahul went about peddling lies about how UPA made '3 times more roads' than the 5 year NDA govt, despite his own govt agency reports admitting the opposite. His party seniors do the bigger job of personal attacks on rival Modi calling him Hitler, fascist etc and terming the opposition BJP as divisive and communal. That being a lie: It is the Congress and appeasement politics practitioners like SP etc crying hoarse for special courts for Muslims, early release of muslim youth (and not just youth) detained wrongfully and special banks and yearly doles while Hindu temple properties are attached and wealth liquidated.

This combination of speaking garbage, crying, lying and sudden hysteria by Rahul Gandhi is why he struggles to attract even half the crowd that his rival Modi's rallies attract.Because no one knows which Rahul will turn up that day. Because one could listen to his garbage for comic relief, but who would want to listen lies or weeps?

This is just the beginning and the polls are 6 months away atleast. The battle of contrasting styles of inspiring speeches and valueless gibberish has already thrown up so much. The inspiring parts could get even better while the gibberish could start stinking even worse. Keep an eye out and don't forget about the desperate buffoons on your national news and media TV.     

A game of doles and hypocritical delight

I see a great number of people defend the idea of liquidating the gold from Hindu temples to improve the rupee and shore up the treasury. Basically the point is the government messed up due to poor economic policies, lax implementation of tax laws and enforcement against hoarding, hawalas, participatory notes and all other stuff other people know more about than me. Giving the devil it's due and whatever the cause is, something has to be done. As such I'm not against liquidating some of the gold from the super rich temples controlled by boards such as the HR&CE (and the not so rich ones are mostly not HR&CE controlled, so they be left alone to sustain themselves) if it helps arrest the economic slide.

That far it is acceptable. Especially given the common knowledge that alot of ill gotten money from Rajasekhara Reddys, Yeddyurappas and co have found their way to Tirupathi, Manjeshwar etc. It is a different issue, altogether, that there shouldn't be avenues to get illegitimate money, and secondly, there should be safeguards against such money finding it's way to such big temples that have their own govt controlled boards overseeing them. It is everyone's knowledge that the most popular way of whitening black money is to go to shady jewel and precious stone merchants. Movies and other art forms have done their part in giving us that idea. But when the money you need to whiten is so big, these small time merchants don't match up to the level needed. In this context, dumping all the black money-converted gold in temples, especially those in which the board consists of members handpicked by their own govt, is a safe haven. Besides, how many of us ask where does all this gold come from? Hell, no one even asks where all the gold in the golden temple in Vellore came from (rationalist Karunanidhi has alot of answering to do about his patronage to it). So by liquidating a portion of these rich temples gold, I go for it merely because some of the gold was dumped in through black money by dishonest and corrupt politicians. This means some of the lost revenues and taxes, and bribes received (which basically translates to a bigger loss on tender payments to win contracts, foregone licenses etc) is atleast being re-inducted into the system to help fund the economy. Of course, I'm not validating this habit or saying that since the black-money would be finally used some of the culpability of the wrong-doers is erased. Not at all. I merely saying that some of the gold came from money that should have been a part of the revenue sheets, so let it go back there where it belongs. 

I've explained why I'm ok with the retrieval of gold from super-rich temples. But then I'm not ok with what is actually happening. The very next day or 2 after this news came out, there was news about the Maharashtra govt with plans of a 10 Crore fund to modernise madrassas. Is that an urgent need really with the situation the economy is in? I agree it's a State govt proposal only but it's not as if the State's treasury is in the pink of health either. And it's no surprise which party is ruling this State and which party at the center came up with the idea of getting gold from temples. Because of this the whole explanation that they resorted to get gold from temples to support the rupee falls flat. That is because they say they want to fund the economy for vital projects but if they are in such dire straits they ought to use all the money from the gold for those vital projects in infra, or to reduce the account deficit or to bring down the rupee. I cannot see modernisation of madrassas as going to in any way help build infra, or reduce the deficit or improve the rupee. And I don't see any news anywhere about the Haj subsidy getting cut this financial year because of the doldrums the economy is in. They are simply taking money from a place of one religion and giving (atleast a part of it) it to a place of another religion. Who in their right mind thinks this will improve the economy? This doesn't at all fit in with the explanation offered for getting gold from temples. There is a big big hole. Oh and did I just see P Chidambaram say the rupee will correct itself? Then what's the point of this whole exercise?

And may I point out that if all religion based doles to any religion - Hindu (not that there are too many cases of it), Muslim, Christian, whatever, are cut (and that includes the Haj subsidy) the saving would be close to equal to what the government plans to get from temple gold. So this establishes that if the govt is sincere that it has no other way to save the economic situation, then they must do it uniformly. Cut all religious subsidies, and retrieve resources from everywhere - Temples, Wakf boards, church lands etc. Simply doing a half baked and selective job is plain and simple discrimination and is condemnable. And it makes the whole explanation of trying to save the economy appear as a sham and lie to to simply indulge in minority appeasement.

So that is my basic problem with this proposal. The inconsistency. Between what they say they want to do and what they are actually doing. And here's another thing that struck me. I went to Visakhapatnam recently. Believe me when I tell you the UPA is going to get mutilated in Coastal Andhra following the Telengana ordinance. Their whole focus is on Telengana now. They know they have no hope in Coastal Andhra districts. The State creation ordinance is enough to get them Telengana. But they are still so s**t in the game changer states like MP, UP etc. Pappu magic not with-holding. Their usual bribes to voters won't pay this time, they need much much more. So it makes perfect sense to them to take money out from Coastal Andhra (Tirupati lies there) where they have no chance in hell, and use it to improve their chances in the big states where they are lagging behind. So I won't be surprised to think gold from Tirupati or other temples is just going to end up in voter influencing in UP etc. With the SP pulling all stops in minority appeasement, UPA can't be left behind. I don't think this is a far fetched thought given the recent history and behavior of the UPA. Of course the gold can only end up in the national treasury and not in the hands of the politicians. That's why there are tools to convert the money in treasury into sops and doles. Special courts for muslim accused requires money to run, Haj subsidy requires money and so do the modernisation of madrassas. Funds for those can be allocated only by policy and from the treasury (national/state) and not from the politician's pocket. 

Taken in isolation, just announcing sops like special courts (well it still rings as minority appeasement) appear just like another blatant exercise of pseudo-secularism by a govt bereft of ideas. Taken in isolation with the explanation offered, getting gold from temples appears like a legitimate effort to correct the economy. Take both together. It is a definite case of minority appeasement. And not just the simple appeasement where it says 'we will treat you preferentially'. It is one which says ' we will not only treat you preferentially, we will also disfavour the others'. This is ground reality. This isn't a violent or communal opinion. 

Extremely ignorant are voices and comments of many that Hindus are opposing this because they are 'closed minded' and that 'Hindutva and development' don't go together. May I kindly suggest you to contemplate the uproar and perhaps worse that may have erupted if the govt had thought of attaching properties and other wealth in the possession of wakf boards and churches? Besides think whether they would even entertain an monitoring body like the HR&CE which exists for Hindu temples. In comparison are you seeing any strong form of protest by Hindus at all to this? When you consider that sops are given majorly to the minority communities ( i.e the fact that sops are religion based and not economic status based), it will lead you to as to in who's name the treasury gets drained, and in whose name development gets a backseat. So it is to those voices that I say 'open up your closed mind' and do not 'go together with development'. 

A curious epidemic

Epidemic spreads. It is now chronic among the many political parties. And with main stream media channels hospitality to the sick(ular) the epidemic is spreading  in all directions. What is assuring amidst the epidemic is that it is certain that the pathogenic strain causing the epidemic is not indigenous to this land. It is suspected to be a Sicilian origin, backed by evidence that symptoms of this epidemic include a phobia of ideas that do not find favor with a certain Sicilian entity. Other symptoms include severe delusion, amnesia after 2002 (a la Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates) and irrational deciphering of straightforward data/information/statements.

The epidemic is thought to be water-borne since it has spread very inductively in India. This assertion also holds well with the observation of one of the most well known faces affected by this. His name is Rahul Gandhi and among the various modes of transmission from being water-borne to vector-borne, Rahul concluded that this is because 'India is a river' and 'we are a bee-hive'. Also this makes it one of the rare cases of epidemics being spread by bees rather than flies, rodents or mosquitoes. 

A unique symptom of this disease is a common shared aversion induced fear of a an individual purportedly inimical to the master Sicilian entity. It is in close analogy to a master device-slave device setup wherein all slave devices function unanimously based on settings set and commands issued (high ones they are, by the way) by the master device. Observations recorded in the past few years have indicated that the common shared aversion is to a person named Narendra Modi. Most symptoms listed above have involved Modi in one way or the other. Kamal Farooqi, another affected person, is reported to have irrationally deciphered a statement of feeling sad from loss of lives in 2002 expressed by Modi (http://in.reuters.com/article/2013/07/12/narendra-modi-puppy-reuters-interview-idINDEE96B08S20130712). Though the original statement was devoid of the word 'muslim', Farooqi decried that Modi had said 'muslims are worse than puppies'. Farooqi was however on the backfoot to explain why he in the first place thought puppies which in the eyes of normal good-hearted humans were loved and found to be cute, were bad. Another affected person, Ajay Maken, was unhappy with the analogy too. Hearsay suggests that Maken had wrongly heard 'puppy' as 'pappu' and was shocked because due to another case of irrational deciphering, he had thought Modi was indirectly planning to run his car over co-affected Pappu (internet parody name for Rahul Gandhi).

Another recent incident involving a college address by Modi encountered the symptom of delusion. While highlighting the need for a higher budgetary allocation for education Modi had compared and claimed China spent higher than India while getting the actual percentage badly wrong. Sanjay Jha exhorted that Modi lacks basic education in Math because everyone knew a 20% increase over 3 was 'three point "sixty"'. Most of the affected persons blamed Modi for misleading the nation and to not quote incorrect numbers. A week or more later, however, symptoms of delusion surfaced when some of those affected started giving incorrect numbers on the price of a basic meal. With numbers ranging from Rs 1, Rs 6 to Rs 12 fears of a glitch in the wireless connection to the master device is being suspected. They claim that their prices are correct if all those who needed a meal a day were fine with relocating to the southern state of  Tamil Nadu and have meals in 'Amma canteen' which sells variety rice for Rs 3, for example. However Farooq Abdullah who came up with the price of Rs 1 seems to have been sold an idea by Airtel that people can download food to their stomachs.

Recently a lot of the affected persons started developing zombie tendencies and hatched a plan to spread the epidemic in foreign shores too. They devised a plan similar to the Anthrax mailings of 2001 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001_anthrax_attacks). Around 65 of the affected wrote a mail to the US Prez Barack Obama (yes those in office in US the target again) asking him to continue to deny Modi a visa on the grounds of 'gross violation of human rights' (or something like that) (www.65traitors.com). When pointed that they had put the country to shame by lobbying to a foreign leader against a leader of their own country the long term amnesia after 2002 led to replies on those lines. An error in connection among the slave devices occurred as some of the 65 denied having signed the letter as they tried to fight their long term post-2002 amnesia but by forgetting that they signed the letter they developed a new symptom, short term amnesia. This was corroborated by a forensic agency which concluded that all signatures were genuine and were signed close to the letter being finalised (http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/India/MPs-letter-to-US-against-Modi-authentic-expert/Article1-1099921.aspx). Some affected persons were also concluded to have double standards as Sitaram Yechury's signature in a letter addressed to a US Prez made his stand against 'Imperialist and Capitalist Forces' appear fake, something that his signature was not found to be. Thus there is now a confusion whether the forgetting of signing the letter is short term amnesia or another case of delusion.

 The second significant trait of affected persons is partial colour blindness wherein the colour saffron is seen as red. When Modi remarked that he's a Hindu nationalist, Minority Affairs Minister Rehman Khan hit out at Modi for his 'Hindu nationalist' remark saying, "There is nothing called Hindu or Muslim nationalist, there is only Indian nationalist". Cases of attributing terrorism Hinduism to terrorism have been reported (http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/shinde-blasts-bjp-rss-for-inciting-hindu-terror/article4325767.ece) with simultaneous denial of terrorism having a religion attribute whenever cases of  terrorism conducted by Islamic groups came out in the open (almost all from or funded by enemy neighbouring countries). The inference: Hindus can be terrorists but not nationalists. Possible reasons for this hypocrisy vary from the aforementioned symptoms to a mere case of treating your neighbours as your friends and gifting out your car-shed for them to use as their compost yard. The case of being soft towards neighbours was exemplified when the Defence Minister Antony made a 'historic' trip to China weeks after the Chinese troops encroached 19 km within Indian territory and days after an unprovoked accusation of India by Chinese army general of war-mongering. This observation points to a symptom of a severe loss of shame. 

The persons affected by this disease also widely show a trait of misinterpreting secularism as appeasement in addition to an anti-Hinduness (or anti-Hindutva as they like to call it) stand. While a Police officer was shot in an encounter while trying to arrest terrorists responsible for blasts in Delhi, one of the most famous of those affected by this disease, Digvijay Singh labelled the encounter as staged or fake to target the muslims. Though the court ruled that the arrested person had indeed murdered the police officer Digvijay still was not happy and many of his colleagues said the court had not ruled whether the accused belonged to terrorist group Indian Mujahideen (IM). Considering that IM is a breakaway from Students Islamic Movement of India (SIMI), and going by its name that SIMI is an 'Islamic' movement, by holding that terror has no religion (except Hindu) and that the arrested person belonged to Islam, it is consistent with Digvijay's view that there was no way he could have been a terrorist. Another observation is that those affected by this disease don't necessarily have good relations with each other. Arvind Kejriwal, known to be vehemently against Rahul and the master device, also exhibits aversion towards Modi and has also challenged the court for its verdict on the above mentioned person who shot a cop.

Rehman Khan also came up with the noble idea of setting up a 'special court for innocent muslim youth in cutody' (http://ibnlive.in.com/news/special-courts-for-muslim-youth-soon-says-minority-affairs-minister/380804-3.html).  Though most people believe that a 'special court for innocent youth in cutody' would have been seen as reasonable they believe that one specially for muslims would be special. Special because for the first time we have courts that (1) are intended to facilitate suspects to walk free than actually stand on serious trial, (2) a place to seek a right to justice being notified purely on the lines of religion and (3) a court formed out of the whims of the symptoms of a disease. Also interesting to note is that the symptom of appeasement blurs the line between whats legal and whats illegal. Appeasement is a funny symptom where the world turns upside down and building an illegal wall on government land is legal while an IAS officer ordering the builders to seek permission or dismantle the wall is so illegal that she's suspended in 41 minutes (http://zeenews.india.com/news/news/uttar-pradesh/sp-leader-brags-he-got-durga-shakti-nagpal-suspended-in-41-minutes_866122.html). The symptom of delusion was also evident here as the affected person in the above link claimed the demolition of an illegal wall would start communal riots while this speech wasn't worth worrying about even for 41 hours let alone 41 minutes (video below)

The communicable nature of the disease, is evident from the utterances of main stream media journalists in newsrooms and journalists. The typical symptoms are exhibited from aversion to Modi, anti-Hinduness, appeasement and sharing a master device-slave device networking with the same master device and functions according to the same high commands issued by the master device. Not going into that now, maybe later.

Post-script: This post is not intended to attribute terrorism to a religion but merely tries to bring out the selective painting being carried out by those in power and the media.. It is not intended to lighten the grievous loss of lives that took place in Gujarat in 2002 but to expose the blind sided and hypocritical targeting being carried out by those in power and the media. 
 

The polity chronicles

There are as many opinions on politics as there are parties in India. Each far removed from the other and distinct in idea quite unlike (most of) the parties who practice the same tomfoolery with different garbs and names. Some have existed since the days of our founding fathers and some born in this tech age and are in their infancy. With our netas taking to social networks to charm the wise and the young alike one can easily spot some of the different opinion groups in existence. Which one appeals to you (if any)? Take a pick.

1. The INC loyalists:

     Composition: Retired govt employees, almost everyone's grandfathers, Forbes-ranked entrepreneurs and    industrialists, eminent journos.

     Characteristics:  

•  Talk about INC's rich heritage as it was the party that consisted of most of our founding fathers and being our grand old party. About how they played a big role in our Independence and will uphold democratic values and equality.
• Point out Pandit Nehruji's vision regards education, agri and social reforms, of Indira Gandhi's valor in war, the white and green revolution, nuclear armament (and for some people the orderliness of the Emergency period) and Rajiv Gandhi's (and mainly PVN's) economic reforms and the unimaginable trauma his surviving family suffered (and are suffering to date)
• Praise INC as a party with highly qualified individuals like MMS and PC who will put the economy on the right track (just like they did 2 decades ago) and make India a superpower by any year you like after 2020.
•  Elevate INC aloud every minute of air-time possible and title them as the champion of the down-trodden and elaborate on how all their schemes will change the face of rural India and bring about an utopia of equality.

2. Rahul Gandhi junkies:

      Composition:  Young guys and girls who are charmed and think he's as young as them because he's single at 42, eminent journos, Digvijay Singh and other p(sycophants)

   Characteristics:

• Excite fellow people by saying how he is young and will bring ideas as fresh as him.
• Tell everyone Rahul Gandhi 'feels' the pulse of the people because he boarded a Mumbai suburban EMU general class compartment and ate rotis at a village hut in UP.
• Rahul Gandhi is awesome because he's London educated like around thousands of more young Indians 
• Use alot of air-time projecting as the most pan-Indian and acceptable PM for the country
•  Admire Rahul's selflessness for working at the 'grassroots' level without desire for power just for the noble cause of improving party functioning and maximising vote prospects. Further admire him for doing the same again without losing heart despite his efforts blowing up in his face each time.
• Correct those nasty people who talk of  'dynasty politics'. Point out how Rahul has risen through the ranks, worked his a$$ off for the people and (in) the party and mention also that 'power is poison'.

3. The ever-reds a/ the commies:
   
     Composition: Anyone with requisite fitness who likes to squat on roads, railway tracks and shout for days together without offering any constructive solution to things they don't like, human rights activists (ironically)

     Characteristics:

• Never talk about communists stand on the 1962 Indo-China war
• Always shout hoarse about human rights and adopt denial when pointed about human rights record of communist countries like China 
• Blame 'imperialist' and 'communal' forces for the argument you had with your spouse.
• Bleed your heart for anyone on fast against anything being undertaken for general welfare and development. And gather more people to bleed their hearts on arterial roads, so that more people will bleed their heart because they're stuck in a traffic jam for hours.
• Complain that terrorists and murderers in jails are not being treated with dignity and respect 
• Praise the USA for denying Narendra Modi entry until someone reminds you that you're supposed to hate the USA.

4. The Modimonizer:

    Composition:  moderates, human rights champions, RTI activists, eminent journos, INC loyalists, commies and Rahul Gandhi  Junkies

   Characteristics:

• Talk about Godhra.
• Talk about Godhra again.
• Say that Gujarat development is skewed because it is living hell for minorities. Call others communal if they ask for any other brand of development, skewed or unskewed, or if they ask about Kashmiri Pandits.
• File law petitions against Modi for compliance in Godhra. If investigations find no evidence, apply for RTI, pick out more data and file another law petition. Continue loop till Modi loses State elections.
• Discuss live on-air how Modi can never be an acceptable face to lead the country. Dismiss plastic surgery as impractical.
• Keep pestering Modi supporters that his hands are blood-stained and rant that you wont rest till he is held accountable for genocide. 
• Call Modi a liar by saying that his claims of all round development in Gujarat is false. Talk about Godhra again if someone asks which State has had even that much development at least.

 5. The commoners a/ The 'I am anyone who is new and fasts a lot' cap wearers

      Composition: Young guys and girls who think any event announced on FaceBook is the in-thing, RTI activists, eminent journos, spiritual gurus and yogis
 
     Characteristics:

• Shout aloud how you are disgusted and fed up with corruption among political parties and call the Prime Minister names of disney characters and animals, preferably a duck.
• Hold banners and sit protests in beaches, monuments (preferably Jantar Mantar) holding placards that express your opposition to corruption. And most important, upload photos of you holding that placard on FaceBook and send live tweets from the protest venue.
• Invariably force in a discussion about Arvind Kejriwal or Anna Hazare or Prashant Bhushan whenever you meet friends at any Coffee Shop or mall even if it might involve cutting in and disrupting a discussion on how one of you failed miserably in winning your college crush. And somehow keep bringing the discussion back to Kejriwal, Anna and Bhushan if the discussion unsuspectedly drifts to a merrier topic.
• When a protest or sit in is being held, dedicate full air-time, 24 hours, to it's coverage. Subtly hint to the viewers that they shouldn't be interested in what else is going on in the world.
•  'Brave' the sun and attend meetings held by spiritual gurus and yogis. Raise your support for all the demands that the guru puts forth to the government like changing the value of the US dollar from 54 rupees to 1/54 rupees
• Suspect everyone and everything 

 6. The political atheists:

     Composition: Those in love and have no time to think of politics (ah, bliss!), those who haven't been introduced to newspapers and newschannels yet (aaaah, bigger bliss!), old and wise people

    Characteristics:

• Maintain that all parties are eggs from the same basket and you have lost faith in the system. And suffer a jolt when you suddenly get the unnerving thought about what if one day you lost faith in love.
•  Go on about how India would have been great if it were still a British colony. And then cringe when you realize you could have been ogling at blonde girls frequently. Or if you are not in love or interested in girls, cringe when you realize Wayne Rooney would have been playing for your country.
• Talk about how benevolent and stately our ancient kings were and how they never indulged in corruption. Also selectively praise Adolf Hitler for making Germany a strong country and say, carefully depending on who you're with, that India needs a leader like Hitler
• Watch movies like Muthalvan and yearn for a Chief Minister like him.
•  Repeatedly ask what is there for you in voting for someone saying no one is going to come to power just because of your vote. And when one that you were against comes to power say that you didn't vote because you knew that the person will come to power.

7. The Modi freaks:

   Composition: Glory-hunters, those young guys and girls who see through Rahul Gandhi, Industrialists and entrepreneurs envious of those ranked by Forbes, and any nobody who's craving for attention

  Characteristics:

• Praise Modi by calling him Lion, Tiger or any other member of the cat family. Sigh when a modimonizer says ' I told you he is wild and dangerous'.
• Talk of the development that has taken place in Gujarat to your best level so that an unsuspecting person will paint a picture of Paris minus the Eiffel Tower from your words.
• Elucidate on the equality that Modi stands for by citing a couple of minority leaders who appreciated the state's development. When someone points out Godhra, revert to the     ' Do not live in the past, time is a great changer' strategy.
• Always talk about how Modi was able to provide land for the Tata Nano factory swiftly.  
• Invariably force in a discussion about Modi whenever you meet friends at any Coffee Shop or mall even if it might involve cutting in and disrupting a discussion on how one of you failed miserably in winning your college crush. And somehow keep bringing the discussion back to Modi if the discussion unsuspectedly drifts to a merrier topic. 
• Reiterate that Modi will solve all of India's problems if he is made PM. Right from the scorching heat in the plateau regions to India's dismal condition in Olympic sports.

 Of course there are people who belong in more than one of these groups. Which one do you belong to?

                          

Soul is sold, Nation suffers

The first thing that came to my mind was the motif  'selling the soul to the devil'. Till now, I never knew the actual story behind it, and I just wikipedia-ed it right now to see if there is any meaningful semblance on what I am writing on. The story goes like this - A German scholar called Faust is dissatisfied with his life and exchanges his soul with a representative of Satan called  Mephistopheles for worldy gains and pleasures. One particular help from  Mephistopheles was in seducing a young and innocent girl called Gretchen who's life was ultimately destroyed but goes to heaven because she's innocent while Faust becomes irreparably corrupted and the Devil carries him off to hell. 

It all sounds so kiddish and like a lot of bunkum. Unless you have been reading the papers the last couple of days, to see that the soul market still thrives around here. Only that the characters differ and instead of a girl a country bears brunt. There is just everything wrong with what our HM Sushil Kumar Shinde blurted out in our 'heir-prince's' coronation of sorts. 

Primarily, let it be borne in mind that the veracity of his claims of 'saffron' or 'hindu' terror could/might possibly be true. But that is just so removed from the point of why Shinde's gaffe is unpardonable. One only has to remember how the government was making half-hearted (atleast) measures to 'act' tough against our rogue neighbors (the Devil eh? from Faust's story) after some dithering on how to react to the most gruesome of soldier beheadings and then a reprehensible denial of having done what they did before the devil's representative, Hina Khar, accusing India of war mongering. Angry rants by citizens on how Israel would have created a crater in Pakistan (Porkistan is how some people include me refer them these days) had the beheading happened to their men. Such chest-beating not withstanding, the half-hearted measures came about and then came the Jaipur screw-job. 

It begs the question- Are people like him up there who make laws and decisions that stupid/careless/insensitive/unpatriotic or do they just have a short-term memory? Because - 1. Unless he was careless he would have seen how this would render all the diplomatic pressure, as feeble as it might be, even softer as Pakistan would definitely pounce on the chance to absolve themselves of any wrong-doing. And not only that, it would erode any credibility that India would have while looking for foreign support to resolve issues. Because this is not some passerby who has said it - it's the HM and his words will be recorded everywhere including the UN where, unfortunately, Porki has now a temporary Observer status.  2. If  he was insensitive, well I needn't say more, everyone knows he just followed his leader's instructions and all that minority appeasement stuff. 3. Or he had short term memory loss because similar comments were said at similarly inappropriate times (more on that below) and hadn't learnt from his predecessors/colleagues mistakes.

Among all, the insensitivity stands out. It's quite so brazen. Let's be clear on one thing. The congis were assembled in Jaipur for a brain-storming session-cum-Rahul-coronation. To break their heads over how to improve their showing and their image among the masses and what to have as propoganda. There was absolutely no necessity to harp on security or terrorist issues or disclose what investigating agencies unearthed (not that he disclosed the entirety of all terror related investigations either which would in all possibility have shown a distinctly different trend from what Shinde blurted). Yet he just had to churn out venom. Quite clearly vote-bank politics. How does it help? Rahul's effect bombed in UP last time. UP is a big state that might be a game-changer in next year's LS polls. And they believe this will help them win a chunk of the muslim votes (I don't know how, you better ask themselves if you're curious). Backing this theory is out-of-power-twice Lalu Prasad Yadav (Bihar, but similar lines) who was among the first to defend Shinde saying he had just stated what is true, so there's nothing wrong. We're all used to D(P)igvijay Singh, so it is no surprise he jumped to Shinde's defence too when he validated Shinde's 'facts' but disagreed with 'words'. "Terror has no religion or colour" said he. Agreed hundred percent! But Digvijay, Shinde and co don't, though they claim so. If they did they won't have repeated the cacophony for the third time:

1. Someone, P Chidambaram I think but I'm not sure, used it immediately after 26/11 when they attributed a 'Saffron Terror' angle  for the respected cop late Hemant Karkare's death, because Karkare was probing Malegaon blasts in which Hindu outfits were involved. Porki bought time asking Indian intelligence to probe that angle too in the 26/11 attack. Thankfully the govt brushed past it.

2. Rahul Gandhi, sometime.

3.And now Shinde...

If they truly believed Terror has no religion, they wont make the mistake THRICE and correct it THRICE!! (or more). It shows all these are deliberate and are followed up by patchwork to control damage. Shinde's original defense is all the more bewildering. He said " I have said nothing new. I just told about the 'Saffron' Terror we have seen in the past". Apparently it was an attempt to still hold BJP and RSS as patrons of terror while somehow detaching the mention of Hindu from his original statement. Does it really make a difference? Not in the least. Saffron is the color of robes worn by holy men, it's one of the three colors in the bands of our national flag, and the flag association is worth mentioning again. Also, any Hindu who took offense to 'Hindu terror' isn't as dumb to not know 'Saffron terror' refers to them again. Are Shinde and co, in the same vein, ready to regard the blasts in 26/11, Delhi, Varanasi, Mumbai many other times too etc as 'Green terror'? Whether they mention by the religion's name or its most prominent color, it makes no difference.

But this was no way a bolt from the blue if you think about it. Even if you disregard the 3 previous saffron terror gaffes. Akbaruddin Owaisi who claimed that 'it will take us 15 mins to kill 100 Hindus' was allowed to provocate and fly for treatment(escape) to London. A definitive case of hate speech but both the Congress govt in the state and the Home ministry sat on it.Until the pro-congress and pseudo-secular media woke up to dissenting voices from the public and mounted pressure on both govts. But what takes the cake is this gem from our man of the moment Shinde - he referred to JuD chief Hafeez Saeed (the world knows him as one of the most wanted men by the CIA with the US placing a $25 million bounty for his head, is on Interpol notice and two accused in US courts have pointed at him about the 26/11 attacks) as (drums rolling) 'SHRI' Hafeez Saeed. Which goes to mean that Shinde revers/respects/honours/holds in high regard someone responsible for the death of 166 people including a few Israelis and other nationals. So either the CIA, Interpol etc are all nuts or the govt must seriously consider renaming the Padma'Shri' award to something else. (should we now pity Shri Shri Ravi Shankar for having not one but two Shris in his name?) The camaraderie between Shinde and Hafeez has been reciprocative. Shri called Shinde as 'the only decent man who has the guts to speak the truth'. Lets get one thing straight - who do terrorists praise? Does anyone concerned feel comfortable when the HM of the country receives unreserved praise from an evil man who orchestrated an attack of the magnitude of 26/11? Do they share anything special? And the big thing is that Shinde, till this minute as I type, has not disowned the praise. Even as Shri asks the US and India to place RSS and BJP on the list of terrorist organisations. Yes. Hafeez asks India to label its principal opposition party on the list of terrorist organisations and everyone from Shinde to Sonia to Digvijay to Rahul are all ears to it.

See where it has all lead. From, albeit under pressure, moving tough on nasty elements in Porki, it has come to a stage that the nasty element uses the statement of the HM to demand that two big organisations/parties inside India are included in US's terror list. Yes that big ignominy of India having two big names labelled as terror (there are already few in the terror list but those are naxalite organisations and not political parties, not bodies that are likely to represent India on the international front, so the ignominy is less). And this is the last move before Porki would move for India to be labelled as a 'terrorist state'. The shocking thing is not that the request would be heeded by the international framework for they know better.The shocking thing is that this has given so much legroom to Porki for making such heinous requests and making such blasphemous statements at a time when , following the beheadings, they should have been completely blocked off and tied up. As an Indian everyone must bear in mind that the issue is not about hurting Hindu sentiments. As important as it may be, it pales when you see that the bigger fallout of this episode is that mindless, irresponsible and insensitive faux paus has empowered an enemy which seldom respects our national integrity and unity and has demoralised all our intelligence agencies who have been doing their job to corner the enemy.  National shame? Think.

Can you now write the Soul sale to the Devil story with new players for Faust, Mephistopheles, the Devil and Gretchen...??