A word repository

There are times when your head houses a lot of ideas and thoughts but nothing concrete comes out of it all. For example after the Indian Rupee got its new symbol, everyone went ecstatic heralding the dawn of new era, about how India entered an elite group of countries. I envied how those who were picked out of the street by news channels had something to say about it on the spot. I imagined myself being asked about it, and all i found myself saying was some utter gibberish like "wow, our Rupee has a symbol. Now in future we need to press only one key on our keyboards, instead of the two needed for 'Rs'". And then the reporter told me " I think you'll need to hold down shift. So its two keys again". And then I' cry "D'oh!", and become the embarrassment of the nation on a day it should've felt proud.

So i stopped thinking of that bit of news. Just as to keep pace with me and to target my lack, so did the news channels. They went on to a certain Indo-Pak composite dialogue. Till date I dont know what 'Composite' means. All I know it means it isn't simple. Which probably is the reason behind all the trash talking that followed. Mr. Krishna probably went to Qureshi and said "The complete delegation inclusive of my personal being, has its reservations and skepticism over the Kilo-Joules expended by the concerned parties from your side, in ensuring punctual and sincere satisfaction of our needs to bring to book the admonishable and heinous conspirators of 26/11", when all he really should've said was "We're angry." Mr. Qureshi was taken aback by the longest opening sentence in dialogue process history and decided enough words were spoken for the meeting. So he cut short on voicing his concern. He wanted to say " We are disappointed that GK Pillai is not patient with our handling of Hafeez Sayeed". So he deleted 10 words from the script and ended up with a blunderous "GK Pillai is Hafeez Sayeed". Hopefully some months down the line i hear of an Indo-Pak Simple Dialogue process. Atleast the ordinary citizen will be able to understand what the talk is.

And as far as some of those burning their houses over the broken dialogue are concerned; they want Octopus Paul to predict whether the next such attempt will bomb or not. This would've started a debate between Germany and Spain. Germans who were already researching a new Octopus delicacy for predicting Spain over them, silently pray that it predict a successful dialogue, so that LeT and ISI would save them the trouble of preparing a dish that many mentally sane Humans expressed disgust about ingesting. Spain on the other hand were more worried about a more fatal prediction. A prediction doing the rounds of everyone's mobile inboxes in Tamil Nadu - Whether Vettaikaran is better or Suraa is. It is feared that faced with such a choice, it would jump out of its aquarium and die. Probably the easiest prediction it is faced with is whether Velayutham would flop or hit the box office. With a section of keen gamers vying for Dr's blood for stealing from Assassin's Creed, and theaters refusing to screen the movie over non-payment of compensation for the losses from screening Suraa, Paul has his easiest prediction to make. But then Dr could get angry over such a prediction and shout at it to maintain "SILENCE!!!". It's a hard hard life for an Octopus.

It would rather agree to be transferred to some other aquarium so that it can jump from the flight over mid-ocean and start living with ordinary octopi . Hopefully it would be a flight headed to anywhere except Mexico. Lest it jump right into some slimy oil. With the way things are going BP may pick it up and ask it to predict whether they will make more money trading oil or by setting up the world's grandest Salmon, Prawn and Tuna Barbequeue.

But that could lead to Usain Bolt and Co gaining few extra pounds after finding roasted Salmon selling at ridiculously cheap rates in Jamaica. He would then feel that the only setting he can get away with gross unfitness (don't worry Mr. Kirsten. Im not talking about your boys) is the Commonwealth Games. Probably MS Gill will take it easy after pleading with them to "Bring your athletes and not your officials" and "also bring some Barbequeue Tuna".